Reading the Room
You are talking to a classmate during work time. They start giving one-word answers and turn back to their page.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. They want to keep talking
B. They want to focus on work
C. They are confused
Choose the Move
A. Keep talking but more quietly
B. Ask them another question
C. Stop talking and let them work
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Short answers, body turned away, attention back on work
Impact: B
Move: C
Real Talk: “Okay, I’ll let you work.”
You make a joke and nobody really responds.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. The joke did not land
B. Everyone loved it
C. They want you to explain it
Choose the Move
A. Tell it again
B. Let it go and reset
C. Explain why it was funny
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: No laughter, no follow-up, awkward pause
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “Never mind.” / “Anyway…”
Someone comes over while your group is playing and stands nearby quietly.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. They want to join or be acknowledged
B. They want you to ignore them
C. They are looking for the teacher
Choose the Move
A. Ignore them
B. Acknowledge them respectfully
C. Turn away
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: They came close, stayed, and waited
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “Hey.” / “Do you want to join next round?”
The teacher says, “Please clean up your area.”
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. It is a suggestion
B. It is now an expectation
C. It only applies to messy students
Choose the Move
A. Wait and see if they mean you
B. Quickly check and clean up
C. Say, “It is already clean”
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Clear teacher direction
Impact: B
Move: B
Real Talk: “Okay.”
You say something about someone while they are nearby.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. They may still hear and feel targeted
B. It does not count because you were not facing them
C. It is more respectful this way
Choose the Move
A. Keep going
B. Stop
C. Get quieter
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: They are nearby and part of the situation
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “Never mind.”
You are joking with a small group. One person smiles a bit, but stops adding to the conversation and looks at the floor.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. They are uncomfortable
B. They want you to keep going
C. They did not hear
Choose the Move
A. Keep joking because they smiled
B. Shift the topic or tone
C. Ask, “Why are you being so quiet?”
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Less participation, looking down, weak smile only
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “Alright, anyway…” / “Let’s talk about something else.”
A peer says, “That wasn’t funny.”
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. They are confused
B. They are giving you feedback that you crossed a line
C. They want a bigger joke
Choose the Move
A. Defend yourself
B. Say, “You just don’t get it”
C. Acknowledge it and stop
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Direct verbal feedback
Impact: B
Move: C
Real Talk: “Okay.” / “Alright, my bad.”
You do not really want a certain peer joining your activity. They are standing right there while the group decides.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. They may feel unsure and be waiting for how the group responds
B. They already know they are not wanted
C. It does not matter because no one said anything yet
Choose the Move
A. Make a comment to the group about why it will not work
B. Respond respectfully and avoid talking about them in front of them
C. Pretend not to notice them
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: They are present, listening, waiting
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “We’re in the middle of this round right now.” / “Let’s ask the teacher.”
The teacher repeats the direction to you specifically.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. The teacher still needs action, not explanation
B. The teacher forgot they already said it
C. The direction is optional now
Choose the Move
A. Explain why you think it is done
B. Do it without arguing
C. Debate what counts as clean
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Repeated direction, now individualized
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “Okay.”
You say something “to the group” that is clearly about one person.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. The group now feels tension, and the person may feel singled out
B. The person will not know
C. This is better than saying it directly
Choose the Move
A. Keep going because it is indirect
B. Reset and handle it more respectfully
C. Say it louder
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Public message, obvious target, group discomfort
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “I should not have said that.”
You are explaining your idea in a group. At first people listen, then two people start a side conversation and another starts organizing materials.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. They want more details
B. They are ready to move on
C. They completely agree
Choose the Move
A. Repeat your point louder
B. Tell them to listen
C. Wrap up and rejoin the group task
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Attention shifted away, side conversation started, materials being handled
Impact: B
Move: C
Real Talk: “Okay, never mind, let’s keep going.”
After you say something, the group gets quieter and the energy changes.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. The comment changed the mood in a negative way
B. They are just tired
C. They want you to talk more
Choose the Move
A. Keep talking to fill the silence
B. Reset your tone and move on
C. Ask loudly, “Why is everyone so quiet?”
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Group energy dropped, less response, more silence
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “Okay, let’s move on.”
You and one friend already agreed that you do not want someone in the group. That person walks over smiling and asks what you are playing.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. They are trying to connect and be included
B. They are trying to annoy you
C. They are testing you
Choose the Move
A. Start quickly without answering
B. Set a fair boundary without targeting them personally
C. Tell your friend to handle it
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Smiling approach, direct question, social entry attempt
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “We’re in the middle of a round, but you can join the next one.”
Why harder: He has to separate his preference from the other student’s intent.
You think your workspace is fine. The teacher looks at it and says, “No, clean this up.”
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. The teacher’s standard is what matters in that moment
B. The teacher is trying to embarrass you
C. The teacher probably did not look carefully
Choose the Move
A. Say, “It is clean”
B. Clean it up and move on
C. Clean half of it
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Teacher directly disagreed with your assessment
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “Okay.”
Why harder: He has to accept that student view and teacher authority are not equal in the moment.
You are frustrated with someone and want the group to agree with you.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. You are trying to influence the group against one person
B. You are solving the problem
C. You are helping the group understand
Choose the Move
A. Say it publicly
B. Handle it privately or with support
C. Drop hints
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Frustration shifted into group influence
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “Can I talk to you about something?” / “Can we ask the teacher?”
You are teasing during a game. A peer says, “Okay, chill,” but says it in a half-laughing way.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. They are definitely fine
B. They are setting a soft boundary
C. They want you to tease someone else
Choose the Move
A. Keep going, just a bit less
B. Say, “Relax, I’m joking”
C. Stop the teasing and move on
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: They used words to slow it down, even if tone was mixed
Impact: B
Move: C
Real Talk: “Alright, alright.” / “Okay, moving on.”
You notice one person is now avoiding you after something you said earlier.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. They are probably upset or uncomfortable
B. They forgot what happened
C. They are just busy
Choose the Move
A. Ignore it and hope it passes
B. Ask others what is wrong with them
C. Check in respectfully later
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Less interaction, avoidance, changed behaviour toward you
Impact: A
Move: C
Real Talk: “Hey, I think something I said earlier came out wrong.”
You tell the group, “Some people make this game harder than it needs to be,” while the person you mean is standing there.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. The group now knows you are targeting someone
B. Nobody will understand who you mean
C. It is better because you were indirect
Choose the Move
A. Keep going because you did not say their name
B. Stop and reset later in a more respectful way
C. Say directly, “Yes, I mean you”
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Public tension, indirect targeting, person present
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “That came out wrong.” / “I should not have said that like that.”
The teacher says, “Not now,” when you try to bring up an idea you really care about.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. The timing is the issue, not necessarily the idea
B. Your idea is bad
C. The teacher never wants to hear it
Choose the Move
A. Push once more because it matters
B. Wait and bring it up later
C. Reword it and try again immediately
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Timing boundary
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “Okay, can I ask later?”
You are upset with someone, but saying it directly feels awkward. You start making side comments instead.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. The situation is now less honest and more hurtful
B. It is safer and therefore better
C. No one notices side comments
Choose the Move
A. Continue indirectly
B. Stop and choose a respectful direct or supported conversation
C. Say it to everyone except them
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Shift from problem-solving to side-comment behaviour
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “Can we talk?” / “I did not like that.”
You are talking in a group. One peer laughs at your comment, but then leans back, avoids eye contact, and doesn’t speak again. The other two people are still engaged.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. That peer is uncomfortable but not saying it directly
B. That peer is tired and has nothing to add
C. That peer wants attention
Choose the Move
A. Keep going because most of the group is still engaged
B. Shift your tone and make the conversation less personal
C. Call them out and ask what their problem is
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Laugh stopped, body leaned back, no eye contact, no re-entry into conversation
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “Anyway, let’s talk about the game.”
Why harder: He has to notice that one person’s discomfort still matters even when the group seems fine.
You made a comment about someone indirectly while they were nearby. Later, they stop joining your group and speak less around you.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. They are just busy now
B. They likely felt embarrassed or hurt
C. They want you to apologize in front of everyone
Choose the Move
A. Wait it out
B. Repair privately and take responsibility
C. Say, “I didn’t even say your name”
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Less joining, less talking, social withdrawal from you
Impact: B
Move: B
Real Talk: “What I said earlier was rude, and I shouldn’t have said it.”
Why harder: He has to connect indirect comments to later social consequences.
You think your group will work better without one specific person. Two peers seem to agree with you, but the person has done nothing wrong in that moment and wants to join.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. This is now about fairness and group power, not just your preference
B. It is fine because most of the group agrees
C. The other person should just understand
Choose the Move
A. Control who gets to join
B. Use a fair system or adult support instead of personal exclusion
C. Let them in, but make them feel unwanted
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Group agreement, one person vulnerable, no current wrongdoing
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “Let’s make teams another way.” / “Let’s check with the teacher.”
Why harder: He has to think about fairness, power, and social responsibility.
A teacher stops a discussion you want to continue. You believe your point is respectful, correct, and important.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. The teacher is controlling time, space, and next steps in the classroom
B. The teacher is scared of being wrong
C. The teacher is disrespecting you
Choose the Move
A. Keep going because you are right
B. Pause, follow direction, and revisit later if needed
C. Turn it into a question so it is technically not arguing
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Teacher ended the discussion
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “Okay. Can we talk about it later?”
Why harder: He has to understand role hierarchy, not just politeness.
You want to express something negative about someone. Saying it indirectly would protect you from feeling awkward, but it may damage their reputation and embarrass them if they hear.
Spot the Signal: What changed?
Name the Impact
A. This is now a choice between your comfort and someone else’s dignity
B. Indirect is always better
C. It does not matter if your point is true
Choose the Move
A. Make the indirect comment
B. Bring it up respectfully in the right setting or not at all
C. Tell other people first
Real Talk: What would you actually say?
Spot the Signal: Emotional discomfort + temptation to protect self through indirectness
Impact: A
Move: B
Real Talk: “I want to say this respectfully…” / “I need help with this situation.”
Why harder: He has to weigh comfort, dignity, and reputation.