Friendship Skills
Does everybody have to be your friend?
No. Sometimes, people are just not a good fit for us. But we do have to be civil to everyone.
What is small talk?
A short, easy conversation
Tell me something that makes you feel overwhelmed or stressed.
Any example
You get into class and REALLY want to tell Ms. Brown about your weekend. She is running around trying to get ready for class that is about to start. Is it a good time to talk to her about your weekend?
No. She is busy.
Tim's boss explained why he wants Tim to stack the items differently on the shelf. Tim does not look at his boss, does not make any comments or ask any questions. Did Tim show his boss that he is "actively listening?"
No. If Tim was "actively listening" he would have been looking at his boss, and either giving a gesture or comment that he understood what his boss wanted him to do. (ie: Nodding head, thumbs up, saying Okay, I'll do it that way from now on, etc). If Tim was confused, he would have asked a question.
When you are talking with a friend, what is the most important thing - your interest in your friend, or your interest in the topic?
Interest in your friend.
Sometimes we have to listen to our friend talk about things we aren't really interested in, because that is what friends do.
What are some good small talk topics?
The weather
The weekend
Family
Pets
Hobbies
Name your favorite technique for handling stress before it goes into a meltdown.
Listening to music, taking a walk, deep breaths, meditation, taking a break, getting a drink of water.
If you are talking with your boss and she says "On Tuesday when you come to work ..." and you know she meant Thursday, should you correct her?
No, don't interrupt her. You may politely ask her when she is DONE talking, "Did you mean on Thursday?" if you are really confused
Communication is more than just words.
What does this mean?
It means that we also communicate with our non-verbal expressions, body postures, listening ears and eyes, tone of voice, etc.
Tell at least 2 non-verbal cues to let a friend know you are listening to them.
Body facing towards them.
Looking at them.
Nodding your head.
Appropriate facial expressions that match what they are saying (ie: smiling, frowning, sad face, shocked, etc.)
Why is it a good idea to use people's names when you greet them?
Helps them know you are speaking to them.
It is more personal.
Makes them feel good to hear you call them by name.
Builds relationships
You walk into the break room at work and see a co-worker who looks at you and says HI. Tell me two things you could say.
Hi ____
How is your day going?
How was your weekend?
How is a monologue different than a dialogue?
A monologue is just one person talking.
A dialogue is a conversation between two or more people.
What does it mean to try and understand another person's perspective?
Trying to see something the way they see it.
We don't always have to agree with it, but we must try to understand another person's point of view.
Why is it important to try to make small talk with those you work with or go to school with?
It helps to build relationships - either for working together or socializing together.
How could you advocate for yourself and ask for a moment to calm down?
"Ms. Brown, could I take a 5 minute break to calm down?"
Could I please use the bathroom?
Excuse me while I step into the hall for a moment.
You have a friend who has very different views than you about continuing to wear masks.
What is a question you could ask him that shows you are trying to understand his perspective?
Why do you feel that wearing/not-wearing a mask is a good idea? (in a neutral tone of voice)
Tell me how you would handle it if you said something that upset your friend.
Apologize sincerely.
Say you did not mean to offend them. You will try to think before you speak next time.
Say you like being friends with them and you hope they will forgive you.
Someone at work tells you that they had a great weekend. You know you should ask a question.
Give an example of a WH question that you could ask.
Who did you go with?
Where did this happen?
What did you do?
etc
What are some ways that you can "proactively" avoid a meltdown at work.
Make sure you get to work on time or a little early
Make sure you've gotten enough sleep
Make sure you've eaten before you get to work
Be aware of what makes you feel uncomfortable and Advocate for yourself in advance of a meltdown.
In the break room at work, everyone is talking about the big game this past weekend. You watched the game and want to talk about that one really cool pass. How can you jump in?
"Did you guys see that pass from ___ to ___? That was crazy!"
Or some similar comment or question
What is the purpose of having dialogue with someone?
To try to come to a common understanding.