Expected vs Unexpected Behaviors
Problem Solving
Commands vs Suggestions
Social Fake
Social Filter
100
You are sitting in a restaurant with your family. You draw quietly while you wait for your food. Is this expected or unexpected?
expected. It would be even more expected to talk with your family and be part of a conversation; however, drawing quietly is perfectly acceptable as well.
100
Rate the size of this problem: You are asked to work with someone that you do not get along with in class.
Small problem. Working with someone you do not get along with is not easy, but it is only temporary and if you need help you can ask your teacher.
100
Change this command to a suggestion: Jimmy, roll the dice, it's your turn!
Jimmy, it's your turn, could you roll the dice?
100
Your friend is upset because she doesn't like her new haircut. You think it looks terrible as well, what do you say when she asks you what you think? Is this a time to use the social fake? If so, how would that sound?
Yes! Your job is a friend is to encourage your friend and to help her feel better. In this moment it's okay to lie and say, "I think it looks great!" or, "I think you look great!"
100
Your teacher is reading a story that you have read before, you tell the class what is going to happen at the end of the story. Is this expected or unexpected? Should you have used your social filter in this situation?
Unexpected. By sharing the ending of the story, you may have ruined some of your classmates ability to enjoy the story.
200
You have been asked to work with someone that you do not like very much. You decide not to say anything and silently tell yourself the project will be over soon.
expected.
200
Rate the size of this problem: Forgetting your homework multiple times.
medium sized problem. If you only forget your homework once that is a small problem; however, if you forget your homework on multiple occasions it will start to affect your grade and there may be a bigger consequence.
200
Change this command to a suggestion: I'm going next!
Can I go next?
200
You are feeling bored in class. Is this a time to use the "Social Fake?" If so, how does that look?
Yes. By using the social fake, you say nothing and pretend to look interested...even though you may be thinking about something completely different.
200
You are opening a gift from your aunt and uncle and you think, "I really don't like this, what in the world am I going to do with this?" Is this a thought you should share, or use your social filter to keep it inside your brain?
This is definitely a time to use your social filter. It is better to say nothing at all, than to say something that could be hurtful.
300
Your dad has been away on a business trip for three weeks. Your mom passes you the phone to say hi to him. You say, "I can't. I'm in the middle of my video game."
Unexpected.
300
What would be an expected reaction and feeling to have, if there were a fire at school?
A fire at school is a big problem, it is expected to feel worried or scared. An expected reaction would be to listen and follow your teacher's instructions as calmly as you can.
300
What is the difference between a command and a suggestion?
A command is a bossy comment that does not allow a choice. A suggestion is a friendlier comment or question that provides a choice.
300
Share an example of a time it would be expected to use the social fake.
You are bored in class. You are not interested in what your friend is talking about. You are at friend's house for dinner and you do not like what they are eating.
300
A friend shares with you that they loved a new movie they saw over the winter break. Your first thought is, "That movie looked stupid." Should you share that with them, or use your social filter to keep that thought in your brain?
Use your social filter. It is perfectly okay to like different things than your friends, but you do not need to hurt their feelings by sharing a hurtful opinion.
400
When you get an answer wrong in class, you hit yourself on the head repeatedly.
Unexpected. We all get answers wrong on occasion, that is part of the learning process.
400
What would be an expected feeling and reaction to this problem: You come back from the winter break and find out that your schedule has changed.
This is a tiny problem, or it may not even be a problem at all. You may feel a little worried about what your new schedule will be like; however, you should have a calm reaction.
400
When is it expected to use commands?
When teachers, parents, or baby-sitters are giving directions.
400
You are playing four square and when you get out, you are really frustrated but you use a social fake to act like you feel okay and you get back in line. Is this expected or unexpected?
Expected! Bravo!
400
When your grandparents ask you what you are studying in school and all you can think of is, "nothing interesting." Should you say this or should you use your social filter?
You should use your social filter.
500
You are feeling bored listening to the teacher talk. You decide to fake being interested.
Expected. By faking interest, you do not interrupt the class and upset your classmates and teacher.
500
Name two things you can do if you are feeling embarrassed that might make the problem smaller.
Take a deep breath and think of a bigger problem. Think of something funny to help you feel better. Share something to change the subject.
500
When is it expected to use suggestions?
When playing a game or working in a group with your peers.
500
You are eating dinner at a friend's house and do not like what is being served. You move the food around on your plate and do not say anything. Is this an example of a social fake?
Yes! Way to go!
500
How does your social filter work?
We have thoughts going through our brain all the time. Some of them are thoughtful, encouraging and helpful. Those thoughts are meant to be shared. However, we also all have negative, boring, and sometimes mean thoughts that are perfectly okay to think, but do not need to be shared.
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