Emotional Regulation
Distress Tolerance
GIVE Skills
All of our emotions

What does emotional regulation mean? 

Emotion regulation is the ability to understand and manage your behavior and feelings in appropriate ways. 


What is Distress tolerance, and when would we use this skill? BONUS points if you can name all the ACCEPTS skills. 

A person’s ability to manage an emotional event without feeling overwhelmed is called distress tolerance. We can use the ACCEPTS skill to distract ourselves from a distressing sensation, emotion, or event. 

The parts of this are:

Activities, Contributing, Comparison, Emotions, Pushing Away, Thoughts, and Sensations. 

What are the DEARMAN skills used for, and why would we want to use them in our every day life?

The DEARMAN skill is used to get personal needs met. By using this skill, we make our needs known to others and can ask for help meeting these needs.


When would be practice using the GIVE skills we learned and in what situation would it benefit us?

GIVE skills are used when we are trying to form healthy relationships. This means that both your needs and the other persons needs are being met. 


What is a way we can make ourselves and others feel this way?

Examples: Playing games with others, making someone a present, exercising, telling a joke. Doing so many things can make us happy and make others happy as well!


The first way we can regulate our emotions is by "Accumulating Positive Emotions". What does this mean and how can we use this? 

Accumulating positive emotions means doing things that make us feel good and confident in yourself, and may even help to calm you down.


What is the Pushing Away skill used for and how can it be used?

This can help us push the situation away by leaving it for a while. Leave the situation mentally.

Another way to push painful situations away is to imagine yourself putting these feelings into a box or some kind of closed drawer. Then you can imagine yourself putting this box on a shelf and walking away. 


The D in stands for Describe: How do we use this skill?

We will describe the situation in a simple way. State only the facts in your description. At this point, you’re not expressing your feelings or asking for anything. You’re setting up for the conversation using facts.


The G stands for Gentle. What does this mean when forming healthy relationships?

Be nice and respectful. Avoid attacks (verbal or physical), threats, and manipulation. Avoid harassment of any kind. Express anger directly with words. Avoid using threating statements, for example; Describe painful consequences for not getting what you want, but describe them calmly and without exaggerating.  


What is a way we can make ourselves and others feel this way?


Example: Giving them a gift they didn't expect, surprising them with lots of love and caring gestures. 


Another way we regulate our emotions is by Building Mastery. What does this mean, and how do we use this skill everyday? 

Building Mastery means doing things that make us feels smart and confident. Like accumulating positive emotions, you can plan to do things that build mastery, or practice something you would like to be good at doing to build mastery.


What is the Sensations skill and how can we soothe with senses? 

The Soothing with Senses Skill asks us to use our physical senses in an effort to relieve intense emotions. This can be done through taste, smell, sight, hearing, and touch. When we self-soothe, we are being kind, gentle, and comforting to ourselves.

Try using the 5 Senses activity!  


The E stands for EXPRESS and the A Stands for ASSERT: How do we use these skills?

We can express how we are feeling using “I” statements. An “I” statement means that you’re taking accountability for your own feelings. 

To “assert” your needs means that you are asking for what you want in a clear and strong way.


The I stands for (act) Interested. What does this mean when forming healthy relationships?

This means to listen and appear interested to the other person. Listen to the other person’s point of view. Face the person; maintain eye contact; lean toward the person rather than away. Don’t interrupt or talk over the person.


What are some ways we can feel better if we feel this way?

Examples: Talking to someone about what is making you sad and doing something to cheer you up, finding activities you like to do. Remember, everyone is sad sometimes and this is a normal emotion


The last part of Emotional Regulation is using the Cope Ahead skills. What is this skill used for? 

Cope Ahead refers to making a plan for how to cope before you feel distressing emotions. Coping ahead starts with identifying situations where you may feel distressing emotions, describe this situation. Then we will decide which skill will be the easiest to use in the moment.


The A in Accepts stands for Activities. What is this skill used for and how can we use this skill? 

When we find another activity to get involved in, we may ease out mind and focus on something less stressful. Focus attention on a task you need to get done. Rent movies; watch TV. Clean a room in your house. Find an event to go to.


The R Stands for REPEAT and the M Stands for STAY MINDFUL: How do we use these skills?

Repeat to make sure that the other person knows why they should grant your request. 

Stay Mindful and try not to become distracted by things going on around you. Instead, do your best to stay focused on the conversation and why you decided to have it in the first place.


The V stands for Validate. What does this mean when forming healthy relationships?

This is to show that you understand the other person’s feelings and thoughts about the situation. See the world from the other person’s point of view, and then say or act on what you see.


What is something we can do to help calm down when feeling this emotion?

Examples: Go for a walk to cool down, drink a cold glass of water, talking to someone if you are able to. Again, remember it is normal to feel mad sometimes and everyone goes through this!


What are some ways you can accumulate positive emotions, build mastery, and cope ahead? 

All answers acceptable! Good job! 

The C in Accepts stands for Contributing. What does it mean to contribute and how can this help us to destress. 

Contributing means helping someone else and doing something nice for someone. This can be helping a friend or family member. Surprising someone with something nice (a card, a favor, a hug). Anything to give back to others. 


The second A stands for APPEAR CONFIDENT and the N stands for NEGOTIATE. How do we use these skills?

Appear Confident: Regardless of how you feel on the inside, present yourself as though you feel confident. Do this by keeping your head up, standing or sitting up straight.

Negotiate. Remember that you aren’t demanding anything, you’re asking for something. If the person you’re speaking with isn’t on board with your request, remember the phrase “give to get”.


The E stands for (use an) Easy Manner? What does this mean when forming healthy relationships?

A smile and a little humor can help set a calm tone or help to reduce tension in many situations. A light-hearted attitude can help to ease along a conversation. Try softening your approach instead of using a “hard sell.” 


What are some emotions you are feeling right now? 

I know I'm feeling happy, how are you doing? 

Click to zoom