Classroom
Your friend makes jokes about what you wear to school. This happens a lot, and it's starting to make you feel stressed about getting ready in the morning. What should you do?
Set a boundary with an "I" statement!
"I feel self-conscious because of your negative comments about what I wear. I want you to keep any negative comments to yourself. I will remind you if you've crossed this boundary."
You notice one of your classmates always walks around by themselves at recess. You want to invite them to play with you and your friends, but your friends don't want them to join the group. What should you do?
Have a conversation with your friend. Explain why you want the classmate to join, and then listen to what your friend has to say.
Example: "I value being kind and welcoming to others. Is this also important to you?"
Your friend is sleeping over at your house. You want to watch a scary movie that you heard was really good. You think your friend would really like the movie, but you're not sure if they would want to watch it. What should you do?
Ask for consent! Even if you think that your friend might like it, you should still ask them if they are cool with watching a scary movie.
Your younger sibling is such a copycat. The only reason they want to play the piano is because you play the piano. Your parents say that it's "cute" that your sibling looks up to you, but you're annoyed because the piano was supposed to be your thing. What should you do?
You could:
- Talk to your friends about how you feel
- Talk to your sibling about how you feel
Example: "Hey, can we talk about why you want to play the piano? I like playing the piano because I love music. Do you also like music? I don't want you to choose the piano just because of me."
When is it time to bring in a trusted adult?
Anytime you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or need help navigating a situation!
You have a group project due for class. The other members of your group are all friends. Every time your group gets together, the other members talk and joke around instead of helping with the project. You feel frustrated and nervous because the project is due soon and there's a lot left to do. What should you do?
You could:
- Talk to your group members about helping more with the project
- Set roles and boundaries (I can do this part, but each of us should have a task to complete)
- Talk to your teacher about what's going on
You and your best friend got into an argument two days ago at recess. You wanted to hang out with a different friend from soccer, and your best friend got upset. You wish they understood that although they are your best friend, they aren't your only friend. What should you do?
Have a conversation with your friend! Share how you're feeling and then listen to what they have to say. Tell them that you care about them, but also that you both should be allowed to have other friends too.
Your sibling is really annoying you. They literally never clean up or do their chores! You just went to the kitchen to make a snack, and the table is all sticky and gross from when your sibling made a sandwich earlier. You feel hot, and your mind is racing. You just want to scream at your sibling. What should you do?
Take some time to calm down, and then you can talk to your sibling about how you feel.
Example: You take a deep breath and realize you're too upset to talk to your sibling right now. You went for a walk outside and then listened to some music. You feel much better now. You choose to talk to your sibling later and say, "Hey, can you please clean up after yourself? It makes me mad when you leave a mess, and then I have to clean it up."
You and your friend are at tryouts. You're so excited because it's gonna be so fun to be on the team together! When the coach says who made the team, your stomach sinks. Your friend didn't make it. The next day at school, they don't talk to you. What should you do?
Give your friend some space and then talk to them when they're ready. Offer them your perspective.
Example: "Hey, how are you feeling? I'm so sad that you didn't make the team. We should find something else to do together!
What does FRIES stand for? (It's for remembering aspects of consent)
Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, & Specific
You really don't like your teacher. They always pick on you to answer questions in front of the class when you don't know the answer. It's like no matter what, this teacher is always so hard on you. It makes you just want to give up and not try anymore. What should you do?
You could:
- think about why these feelings come up (is it because you're having trouble learning or is it something else?)
- talk to a trusted adult for guidance
- have a conversation with your teacher about how you feel
Example: "It makes me nervous to answer questions in front of the class because I've been struggling with this lesson."
You've been feeling really left out lately. Your friends have been having sleepovers that you aren't invited to. Every time you bring up why being excluded upsets you, your friend apologizes, saying, "I'm sorry you feel that way; we didn't do it on purpose!" You're getting kind of tired of nagging your friends to invite you to things. What should you do?
You can:
- Have a more honest conversation with your friend about how you feel
- Talk to a trusted adult for guidance
- Think about your friendship and whether these friends are good friends to you
You notice that your sibling is wearing your shirt. It annoys you when they just go into your room and take things without asking. You wish they would just ask you first. What should you do?
Set a boundary! It doesn't always have to be a fight; you can say something like this:
Example: "Hey, next time please ask me before you borrow my stuff. There are things I'm cool with you using, but some things I don't like sharing."
You're on a field trip with your class, and you're so excited to go on this roller coaster! You ask your friend if they'll come on the ride with you, and they say "yes," but they seem kinda weird about it. When you're both waiting in line, you notice that your friend has been really quiet and keeps biting their nails. What should you do?
Check in with your friend and ask again for consent!
Example: "Hey, how are you feeling? Do you actually want to go on this ride? We don't have to if you don't want to!"
What are the 5 conflict styles? (Each animal & what style they represent)
Teddy bear: accommodate
Shark: compete
Owl: collaborate
Fox: compromise
Turtle: avoid
You like talking to your science teacher. They always cheer you up when you feel sad. But recently they have been asking you strange questions like, "Do you have a crush on anyone?" or "Have you ever held hands with someone?" They told you not to tell anyone about what you guys talk about.
Talk to a trusted adult! Adults shouldn't be asking questions that make you uncomfortable or asking you to keep secrets.
Your friend tells you not to talk to Bob anymore because Bob said something mean to them. It feels tricky because you and Bob have the same bus stop. You want to support your friend, but you also don't want it to be awkward with Bob. What should you do?
You could:
- Talk to a trusted adult for guidance
- Talk to your friend & tell them how you feel
- Talk to Bob & ask him what happened
You hate it when your Aunt comes to visit. She always pinches your cheeks and forces a big hug when she sees you. You wish she wouldn't do that. What should you do?
Set a boundary! It can feel hard to set boundaries with family and adults, but it's important to let them know what you're comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with.
Example: "Hey Auntie, can we do a high five instead? I'm not comfortable with pinches or hugs."
You've been playing baseball since you can remember. It's always been a part of your life because your dad used to play. Lately, you've not been excited about going to your games, and you're kind of interested in doing chess club instead. You want to tell your dad, but he'll be so disappointed. What should you do?
Have a conversation with your dad. Use the 4 "T"s for guidance.
Example: You choose a time that works for both of you to talk. You stay calm and respectful in tone. You tell your dad the truth about how you're feeling. You use the "I" statement technique to say, "I don't feel excited to go to games anymore because I'm more interested in chess. I want to quit the baseball team and join the chess club."
What are the ground rules that we say before each lesson?
Hint: there are 6!
- Take care of yourself
- This is a learning space
- Be respectful of time & stay on topic
- Be kind to yourself & peers
- Anticipate & embrace discomfort
- Respect boundaries
You've noticed that ever since your friend went to live with their grandparents, they've seemed off. They are always asking for snacks when they come to school, smell kinda funky, and seem really tired all of the time. They brag about not having a bedtime or curfew and get to do whatever they want. What should you do?
Tell a trusted adult and check in with your friend! Sometimes caregivers don't give kids what they need, like food, structure, or supervision. It's important to notice if your friends seem like they aren't being taken care of and tell a trusted adult so they can get the help they deserve.
You're playing kickball at recess when someone from the other team starts talking smack about your team. All of a sudden, two of the kids start physically fighting. The teachers haven't noticed yet, and you're afraid someone might get really hurt. What should you do?
Tell a trusted adult & de-escalate if it's safe to do so!
Example: You tell your friend to get a teacher, while you calmly tell the kids who are fighting to calm down and use their words instead.
You want to go see your friend's game, but it's at 10:00 pm, and your curfew is 9:00 pm. You want to ask your parents if they will let you go, but they've said no in the past to staying out past curfew. What should you do?
Have a conversation with your parents! Use the 4 "T"s: pick an appropriate time to talk, be mindful of your tone, tell the truth, and use the "it's not you vs. them, it's both of you versus the problem" technique.
Example: You ask to talk to your parents after dinner. You are honest with them about what you're asking. You seek to understand their point of view and come up with solutions to any concerns. You stay calm and respectful.
After swim practice, your friend tells you something that makes you concerned. They say that the swim coach uses his hands to guide them into a diving position, and it kinda makes them feel uncomfortable. The coach has done that once before with you, and it was weird. What should you do?
Tell a trusted adult and set a boundary if you feel comfortable doing so!
Example: You tell a trusted adult, then at swim practice you ask to talk to the coach. You tell the coach, "Some team members and I don't feel comfortable being physically guided into position. Could you tell us or model it instead?"
There are 9 components of a healthy relationship. What are they?
Comfortable pace, trust, equality, honesty, respect, independence, healthy conflict, accountability, & kindness.