Let Them 101
These two simple words are used to stop wasting energy trying to control another person's actions, opinions or emotions.
What is "Let Them"?
Your friend doesn't invite you to a weekend getaway. After saying "Let Them" what part of the theory asks you to decide what you want to do next.
What is "Let Me"?
According to Mel, you cannot control what other people do, but you can control this.
What is your response?
Finish the idea: People change when ____________
What is they are ready to change?
In the ABC Loop for influencing change, the first "A" asks you to do these things.
What are apologize and ask?
"Let Them" is only half of the theory. These two words complete it.
Instead of waiting for other people to make plans with you, "Let Me" would encourage you to do this.
What is take initiative / make the plans yourself?
Someone doesn't like you. According to the theory, rather than working overtime to change their opinion, your first move is what?
What is "Let Them"?
According to Robbins, repeatedly nagging, pushing, or pressuring someone to change often produces the opposite reaction.
What is resistance?
The "B" in the ABC Loop instructs you to do this rather than continuing to pressure the person.
What is Back Off?
"Let Them" helps you stop focusing on other people. "Let Me" redirects your attention towards this.
What is what I can control / my own actions and responses?
True or False: "Let Me" means figuring out how you can convince another person to behave differently.
What is False?
True or False: If someone is upset with a boundary you've set, their negative reaction automatically means you've made the wrong decision.
What is False?
Instead of trying to force change, Robbins argues that you have much more power when you use this.
What is influence?
After backing off, you should pay attention to this "B" word to see what the person actually does.
What is Behavior?
Mel's realization about "Let them" began while she was getting worked up over plans surrounding what event for her son.
What is prom?
What is being described in the following scenario...You're upset because your boss doesn't recognize your hard work. "Let Them" accepts the boss's decision. "Let Me" shifts your focus toward things such as improving these, exploring opportunities, or deciding what you want next.
What are your skills, career options, and actions within your control
Robbins argues that sometimes making the right decision for yourself can initially fell this way, especially when someone else is upset by it.
What is wrong or uncomfortable?
This concept describes how people can become inspired to adopt behaviors they observe in others.
What is social contagion?
The "C" step encourages you to do this when you notice even small signs of progress.
What is Celebrate?
According to the theory, trying to control what other people think, feel, say, and do causes you to give away what?
What is your power?
Without the "Let Me" half of the theory, "Let Them" what can accidentally turn into this unhealthy approach?
What is isolation, or detachment without taking responsibility?
An adult is yelling, sulking, or having an emotional outburst. Instead of immediately trying to stop the reaction, the theory encourages you to allow the person to experience this.
What is their own emotions / emotional reaction?
Robbins warns that repeatedly stepping in to solve an adult's problems can prevent them from experiencing the consequences necessary for growth. She describes this behavior with this word.
What is rescuing? (Hero mentality in senior living world)
Put the three main ABC Loop stages in order.
What are Apologize & Ask, Back Off & Observe Behavior, Celebrate Progress & Model Change.