My Milkshake Brings All the Boys to the Yard
These players showed up in cleats, hoping the milkshake counted as post-game protein.
Who are football players?
This is what you love, it when they do, according to the Notorious B.I.G.
What is “throw your hands in the air”?
This official piece of exercise equipment is found in every living room sports arena.
What is the remote control?
This salty snack is the official currency of stadium vendors—one mustard packet at a time.
What is a hot dog?
In hockey, you sit here when you’re naughty.
What is the penalty box?
Instead of a Gatorade shower, this NBA star wanted a milkshake shower after the big win.
Who is LeBron James?
In baseball, Big Papi wasn’t a rapper but this Boston Red Sox legend.
Who is David Ortiz?
This is what you shout at the TV even though the quarterback can’t hear you.
What is “Throw the ball!”
The true MVP of any Super Bowl party.
What are chicken wings?
In football, this yellow flag means you got a little too huggy with your opponent.
What is holding?
These baseball players didn’t bring bats—they just wanted straws.
Who are the Houston Astros?
In football, this position is often called “Big Papa” when he protects his QB like family.
What is an offensive lineman?
Known as the “couch coach’s timeout,” this is when you leave the room because your team only plays better when you’re not watching.
What is a bathroom break?
At halftime, fans aren’t checking stats—they’re checking how much of this gooey dip is left.
What is queso?
Basketball players go here when they foul too often—it’s like a penalty box, but with better seating.
What is the bench?
Olympic athletes know this sport is the hardest yard workout of all—unless you count carrying milkshakes.
What is track & field?
They might call you Big Papa at the BBQ if you’re the one holding these.
What are the tongs?
When your team loses, you explain it was because of this coach-related condition.
What is “bad play-calling”?
This triangular chip should come with a warning label: “Will shatter into crumbs on your jersey.”
What is a tortilla chip?
In football, this penalty proves you celebrated like you just won the lottery.
What is excessive celebration?
The milkshake yard turned into a tailgate party when these fans showed up, chanting “Go Coogs!”
Who are University of Houston fans?
Though they call him Big Papa, this UH mascot is more into milkshakes than microphones.
Who is Shasta the Cougar?
The ultimate couch coach workout routine: sit-ups for nachos, pushups for soda, and lunges only for this emergency.
What is when the Wi-Fi goes out?
Nacho cheese, hot dogs, and soda are all part of this athletic training program.
What is “The Concession Stand Diet”?
Soccer players may not have a box, but they do get one of these colorful pieces of cardboard.
What is a red card?