Songs We All Know Against Our Will
This 30-second children’s theme song lives rent-free in the brains of parents, babysitters, and anyone who’s ever been near a toddler.
What is the Bluey theme tune?
This friend voluntarily paid money to be knighted at Medieval Times and took it very seriously.
Who is Kyle?
This creature, fondly known as the "night demon," and no longer resides with us.
Who is Sadie?
This is the age Kyle stopped wetting the bed.
What is four years old (though we expected much later)?
You shouldn’t flush this object down the toilet and then leave it for your husband to discover.
What are paper towels?
This classic disco anthem somehow became more chaotic after being performed by animated yellow henchmen.
What is “YMCA” by the Minions?
This friend spends their days teaching 3rd graders, which somehow explains everything else about their personality.
Who is Anna?
This is what you really want to say to Joe Byron right now.
What is, "Hey baby, take me out to dinner?"
This is the name of Kyle's childhood lovey.
Who is Rufus the Lion?
These should be worn on a worksite if you’d like to keep all your vision intact.
What are safety glasses?
This motivational pop song encourages perseverance and plays during a Disney movie montage featuring a determined bunny.
What is “Try Everything” from Zootopia?
This friend is constantly just one mild inconvenience away from shaving their head completely bald.
Who is Jack?
This friend group member is most likely to be gay.
Who is Kyle?
True or false: Kyle is uncircumcised like a pagan.
False.
These animals are generally not appropriate plus-ones to a Christmas party.
What are squirrels?
Despite the title, this early-2000s hit made sure we all knew exactly where the singer came from—over and over again.
What is “Jenny from the Block”?
At just 28 years old, this friend has fully embraced the lifestyle of a retired man- smoking meat, mowing lawns, woodworking, and exploring the troubled depths of history.
Who is Presley?
Despite their schooling and their title, these specialized medical professionals are not really doctors.
What are dentists?
This is the age Kyle stopped breastfeeding.
What is 43 1/2 months (shortly before he stopped wetting the bed)?
This phrase politely communicates that clothing expectations are flexible and based on personal comfort.
What is “undress to your comfort level”?
This recent viral country-pop breakup anthem had everyone asking the same emotional question—whether they wanted to or not.
What is “Am I Okay?”
This friend’s idea of Mardi Gras included throwing beads off a moving car, off a bridge, and into a parade below.
Who is Alise?
Room 40 is known for making extra space for this object.
What is deez nuts?
This is the location of Kyle's and Ryan's conception.
What is a Bob Dylan Concert at the Ocean Center?
This phrase jokingly describes a relationship that feels less like romance and more like a personal international outreach project.
What is missionary dating?