Read That Again!
A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 run away. How many sheep does he have left?
Answer: 9. All but 9 ran away!
What kind of coat is always wet when you put it on?
Answer: A coat of paint!
What word sounds the same even after you remove four of its five letters?
Answer: Queue. Remove UEUE and you still have Q!
Why did the tomato blush?
Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing!
If you throw a red stone into the Blue Sea, what will it become?
Answer: Wet!
You're running a race and pass the person in second place. What place are you in now?
Answer: Second place!
What has four wheels and flies?
Answer: A garbage truck!
What word becomes its opposite when you add the letters UN to the beginning?
Answer: Happy becomes unhappy.
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
Answer: They'd crack each other up!
What is always in front of you but can never be seen?
Answer: The future!
A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half hour. How long will it take to finish all three?
Answer: One hour. You take the first immediately, the second after 30 minutes, and the third after 60 minutes.
What has a tongue but never speaks and a sole but no soul?
Answer: A shoe!
What common word is pronounced the same whether you capitalize its first letter or not, but changes meaning from a month to a verb?
Answer: March.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
Answer: In case he got a hole in one!
What can you break without ever touching it?
Answer: A promise!
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Answer: Once! After that, you're subtracting from 90.
What has a bed but never sleeps and a mouth but never eats?
Answer: A river!
What seven-letter word contains the word TEN but has nothing to do with the number ten?
Answer: Tension.
Why was the math book so unhappy?
Answer: It had too many problems!
What is so fragile that saying its name breaks it?
Answer: Silence!
A woman has five daughters. Each daughter has one brother. How many children does she have?
Answer: Six. All five daughters share the same brother!
What has a head, a tail, is brown, and has no legs?
Answer: A penny!
What five-letter word can mean both a type of fish and the action of lowering your head?
Answer: Duck — a bird, and an action (not a fish). Better answer: Perch — a fish and a place to sit!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Answer: Because it felt crummy!
What belongs to you, but other people use it more than you do?
Answer: Your name!