Coping Skills
Can coping skills ever be unhealthy?
Yes. Sometimes what helps people cope in the moment is very unhealthy, such as drugs/alcohol, cutting, etc.
People and or situations are the cause of your anger. True or False?
False. YOUR THOUGHTS about people or situations are always the cause of your anger. Ex.....
Name the final, missing word: Thoughts, Feelings, ______.
Actions or Behaviors
What is technique called of phrasing a sentence in a way that lets you take ownership of your feelings rather than accusing the other person of things thus causing them to get defensive. Ex. "I feel hurt because you didn't call me back when I needed to talk to you".
I-Message
We should always think in terms of black and white. EX: "If I didn't win, I lost." OR "I was rude to my friends today. I'm just a rude, mean person."
FALSE. This is the cognitive distortion of Black and White thinking. The world is all kinds of gray!
Name two healthy coping skills for when you are feeling mad, sad, or bad.
Deep breathing, meditation, yoga, music, calling a friend, laughter, talking to someone (or a counselor), etc.
I drew an iceberg on the board to depict the fact that anger is what others see, however below the surface of our anger are the real emotions causing the anger. Name two of the emotions that we listed underneath the water that are not visible to others.
Guilt, fear, sadness, betrayal, abandonment, jealousy, hurt, insecurity, etc.
What are Cognitive Distortions
They are irrational thinking patterns that cause us problems.
Why is it so important to learn the thought-feeling connection?
Because we must recognize that our emotions come from our thoughts, not other people or situations. Furthermore, we can feel much better if we change or reframe our thoughts in any given moment.
Meditation is for hippies or people that live on top of a mountain.
FALSE. Meditation, or the clearing of thoughts from your mind for a period of time to simply be still and focus on your breathing, is for anyone and everyone.
Can some coping skills help improve your mood instantly?
Yes! Deep breathing is the best one. Laughter is another.
Does anger automatically leads to aggression?
No. It is how you choose to respond to a situation that determines if you will act aggressively. It is entirely within your control.
How can you always tell if your thoughts need some cleaning up or reframing?
By your feelings! If you feel sad, mad, or bad (negative feelings) in any way. This means our thoughts are not helping us and we need to reframe the thought or switch to another thought altogether.
Do core beliefs shape the way we experience the world and people around us?
Yes, they do. People with negative core beliefs about themselves will nearly always have a harder life due to them entering every interaction already expecting a negative reaction.
On the spectrum of assertiveness I drew on the board, assertive was in the middle, aggressive was on the far right, and shy was on the far left.
False. Passive was on the far left, meaning to not stand up for yourself in a situation, also known as a pushover.
Name the chemical your brain releases when you exercise, laugh, or do other fun activities? Also known as a "natural high" or "runner's high".
Endorphins
Name two stressful situations that are entirely out of your control.
Death, family income, abuse, illness, OTHER PEOPLE'S ACTIONS. However, you can control how yo respond to these and that is what matters!
What is the cognitive distortion of mind reading?
When we think we know what others are thinking. EX: "She probably thinks I'm stupid because I got that answer wrong."
What did I compare self-worth to when drew a picture on the board and stated that "Self-worth is like the _____. It never goes away. Just because some people cannot see it at the time does not mean it isn't still there in all it's glory."
the sun
Yoga should only be practiced if you have a full hour to devote to it.
FALSE. Yoga poses can be used anytime, anyplace. Even in between classes!
In order to correctly employ the technique of deep breathing, you should inhale for 4 counts, hold for 5 counts and then do what? (Two part answer)
Exhale for 8 counts (or 7)
Name one of the rules for fair fighting that we talked about in the group on conflict resolution.
No name calling, no stonewalling (ignoring), take turns talking, no yelling, take responsibility for your feelings, come to an understanding.
Name one of the question to ask yourself if you are having thoughts that aren't making you feel good? Hint: I repeated these several times and wrote them on the board. There were three of them.
Is it true? Is it accurate? Is it serving you?
This word means to stand up for your self or your rights in calm, never hostile or aggressive manner.
Assertiveness
Tell me your favorite new thing you learned in this group.
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