Holiday
What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?
Spelling
What do you get when you cross a karate expert with a pig?
Porkchop
Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because he wasn’t peeling well!
Where did the sheep go on vacation?
The baaaahamas
I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
A candle
Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a blizzard?
Frostbite!
Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?
It ran out of juice!
Why do cows go to New York?
To see the moosicals!
What is the longest word in the dictionary?
Smiles, because there is a mile between each ‘s’
What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?
“Trike or Treat”?
What do you get when you cross a hamburger with a computer?
A big mac!
Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
What do you call lending money to a bison?
A buff-a-loan
A man leaves home and turns left three times, only to return home facing two men wearing masks. Who are those two men?
A Catcher and Umpire.
Why is Superman’s costume so tight?
Because he wears a size “S”.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a chihuahua?
Pooched eggs.
What did one eye say to the other?
Between you and me, something smells.
How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit card!
What is so delicate that saying its name breaks it?
Silence.
What do vampires take when they are sick?
Coffin drops!
What do you get when you cross a fly, a car, and a dog?
A flying carpet.
What did the judge say to the dentist?
Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.
A frog jumped into a pot of cream and started treading. He soon felt something solid under his feet and was able to hop out of the pot. What did the frog feel under his feet?
The frog felt butter under his feet, because he churned the cream and made butter.