Dad Jokes!
What's a little ghost's favourite dessert?
I-SCREAM!
I am a body with a leg, an arm and a head, but I don't have flesh or eyeballs. How is that possible?
I am a SKELETON!
"I'm a mouse, duh!"
Mean Girls, 2004
"Oh look, another glorious morning. Makes me sick!"
Winifred Sanderson, Hocus Pocus, 1993
If there's something strange, in your neighbourhood. Who you gonna call?
GHOSTBUSTERS!
A zombie, a mummy and a ghost bought a house. It has all the usual rooms except for one. What room won't you find?
The LIVING room!
I have no feet to dance, I have no eyes to see, I have no life to live or die, but yet I do all three. What am I?
Fire
"I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker colour"
The Addams Family, 1991
"Magic is really very simple, all you got to do is want something and then let yourself have it."
Aggie Cromwell, Halloweentown, 1998
From my laboratory in the castle east. To the master bedroom where the vampires feast. The ghouls all came from their humble abodes. To get a jolt from my electrodes.
Monster Mash, by Bobby Pickett (1962)
Why do skeletons always have a bad cold?
Because they are chilled to the bones.
Some people believe in me and others don't. At night I roam around and sometimes I float. If you hear a troubled noise coming from the ground, go run and hide from my creepy sound. What am I?
A ghost.
BOO!
"Monsters are real, ghosts are real too. They live inside use, and sometimes, they win."
Stephen King, The Shining, 1980
"IT'S JOHNNY!"
Tender lumplings everywhere. Life's no fun without a good scare. That's our job, but we're not mean. In our town of Halloween. In this town, don't we love it now? Everybody is waiting for the next surprise.
Nightmare Before Christmas
What do you call a skeleton that makes you laugh and giggle when you're sad?
Funny bone.
I have hundreds of ears, but I can't hear a thing. What am I?
A cornfield
"It's showtime!"
Beetlejuice, 1988
You try to scream. But terror take the sound before you make it. You start to freeze. As horror looks you right in between the eyes. You're paralyzed.
"cause this is THRILLER!"
Thriller, Michael Jackson
What do you call a person with no body and no nose?
NoBODY NOSE.
With pointed fangs I sit and wait. With piercing force, I dole out fate. Over bloodless victims, I proclaim my might. I can eternally join with a single bite. What am I?
Dracula
or... a stapler.
"Do you believe in destiny? That even the powers of time can be altered for a single purpose?
Dracula, 1992
"I've seen enough scary movies to know that any weirdo wearing a mask is never friendly."
Elizabeth, Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives 1986
I put a spell on you, because you're mine. You better stop the things you do. I tell you, I ain't lying. I ain't lying.
I put a spell on you, Hocus Pocus"