Education
You pass by your dealer and think, "I'll just have one."
You remind yourself of where this decision will take you. Play the tape forward. Remind yourself that one instance of substance use often leads to another.
You want to take a Valium that wasn't prescribed for you. You say to yourself, "This is isn't really substance abuse."
Play the tape forward and remind yourself of where this action will lead you if you take the drug. Remind yourself that the Valium was not prescribed to you. Valium is a drug and it will alter your state of mind.
Someone cuts you off in traffic. You feel enraged.
You remind yourself that reacting in anger to this person could lead to negative or dangerous consequences. You use controlled breathing or grounding to get your mind off of this person. You may count to to 50 or 100 to diffuse your anger. Remind yourself that this feeling is temporary.
It is late at night. You are feeling lonely. You are thinking, "No one loves me."
Remind yourself that it is late at night and it is a time for relaxing and going to sleep. Practice deep breathing, mindfulness, or grounding techniques to get your mind off your worries. Reach out to friends or family in the next few days. Write a list of the things you love about yourself and engage in self-care.
You find out that your partner is having an affair.
Talk to someone you trust about the situation. Remind yourself that using substances to cope with the situation will make things worse and lead to negative consequences. Use mindfulness and grounding techniques. Write a list of the things you love about yourself and remind yourself that you did not deserve this. Take some time before you decide how to proceed.
Your mother is criticizing you again. You think, "I am sick of everyone. I need a drink."
Play the tape forward and remind yourself of the consequences of this choice. Take some time for yourself to reflect on the situation. In a calm manner, tell your mother how you feel about the way she talks to you, using "I" statements. Tell yourself what you love about yourself and engage in self-care. Surround yourself with people who are supportive of you and love you unconditionally.
You yell at your children more than you should. You feel guilty.
Think about what is going on in your own life. Are you feeling more stressed than usual? Is there something in particular that is triggering your anger? Engage in self-care to make sure your own needs are being met. Talk to your children in a calm voice about the changes you would like to see in their behavior.
You are laid off from your job.
Focus on what you can control. Make a plan for how you will survive and pay your bills until you find another job. Work diligently on finding a new job. Write a list of things you are grateful for in your life.
There is a relationship you know is bad for you, but you keep feeling drawn back in. How could you stay away?
Write down a list of the "cons" of being with this person. If the person is emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive remind yourself that you do not deserve abuse. Consult a friend or family member who cares about your well-being. Write down the things you love about yourself and engage in self-care.
In the newspaper, you read and article that reminds you of your trauma. You feel enraged that so much suffering occurs.
Remind yourself that you are safe right now. Practice mindfulness and grounding techniques. Talk to a counselor about your trauma and the emotions that were triggered. After you have worked through some of your trauma in therapy, you may choose to reach out to others who have been through similar trauma.