Well, maybe you should. There’s lots of books called Sherlock Holmes, and there’s no books called Officer Hernandez.
What is ... The Police Office
They took my battle ostrich.
Oh, no, not Glenn?
Yes, Glenn! The only bird I ever loved.
What is ... World of Warcraft
Of course I can. I can identify every insect and arachnid on the planet. Not that that’s going to keep me from having to move in with my daughter in _____. And we’re not talking ____ at the beach. No! We’re talking _____ in the onion fields.
What is ... Oxnard!!!!!
Is the Wi-Fi working for you?
Uh, hang on. I don’t think so, I’m clicking on one weird trick for a flat belly, but I’m still seeing celebrities who look like their pets.
What is ... Leonard to Penny
Are you kidding? I love science. Einstein, Stephen Hawking, Mike deGrasse Tyson.
What is ... Zach
I was reading about this jellyfish that never dies. Instead, it reverts to its asexual state and then grows up again.
What is ... the cafeteria
Are you crazy? You don’t want your girlfriend at work with you. Hell Clam.
What is ... Mystic Warlords of Ka'a
Her name was ______ the Troll. Bernadette walked in on me while we were doing the cyber-nasty under the _____.
What is ... Glissinda + Bridge of Souls
Well, I’m a lot less likely to see an Eastern Goldfinch or be murdered, I’ll tell you that.
What is ... Sheldon to Amy
Oh, good, maybe he can build a nicer bridge to live under.
What is ... Sheldon
My most recent paper on how a cooperative long-term potentiation can map memory sequences in dendritic branches made the cover of Neuron.
Ooh! Speaking of good news, somebody just hit 100 Twitter followers.
What is ... The Cheesecake Factory
Hey, I plan on levelling up in the game, not my swimsuit size, thank you very much.
What is ... Star Wars (the online game)
You know what, go to Hell and set their thermostat.
I don’t have to go to Hell. At ___ degrees, I’m there already!
What is ... 73
I have a master’s degree and two doctorates. The things I should know, I do know.
What is ... Sheldon to Penny
My mother would lock her car doors if she had to drive through this hodgepodge of ethnicity.
What is ... Sheldon
I’m glad you talked me into this. We work so hard, sometimes, it’s nice to goof off and do something silly.
What is ... The Bookstore
I could teach you.
Really? You good?
Look at my skin—I haven't been outside in six years.
What is ... Fortnite
I don’t care what you guys think, _______ and I are very happy living together. I will give either of you 20 dollars, right now to trade pants with me.
What is ... Stephanie
Thanks. What’s wrong with your mom?
Oh, her gout’s flaring up. Turns out an apple pie a day does not keep the doctor away.
What is ... Mike to Howard
Riddle me this. Arrah, Arrah, and gather round, the work of this hero is legion-bound. He multiplies N by the number of He, and in this room the thing you’ll see.
What is ... Howard
This job is a lot like being a waitress, except instead of pushing the fish tacos ’cause they’re about to go bad, you’re just pushing our antidepressants before the FDA finds out they may cause rectal bleeding.
What is ... Bernadette/Howard Apartment
You can’t slay the guard captain with a bronze dagger, my Lord it’s like the car key in your apartment door all over again.
What is ... Age of Conan
So, you’re going to go work at the ______ office?
Don’t be absurd. That’s in Washington. You know I could never live in a city whose streets are laid out in a wheel-and-spoke pattern.
What is ... patent
You have a beautiful voice.
Thank you, it’s nice to be appreciated.
I bet it is. Why don’t women like me?
What is ... Raj to Siri
Okay, calm down. You’re not his father, he’s not your father. Nobody’s anybody’s father.
What is ... Bernadette