Definitions
When we frame something to be lesser than it is by denying, dismissing or downplaying its significance. This can be a conscious process.
What is minimizing?
Sometimes people use anger to hide other feelings and emotions. What are these feelings? Name three.
What is disappointment, shame, guilt, sadness, fear, jealousy, frustration, stress, irritation, pain. We use anger to mask VULNERABLE emotions that we believe makes us look weak.
One of the horsemen. Attacking or putting down your partner's personality or character rather than his or her behaviour itself.
What is criticism?
Choosing to handle our anger in an inappropriate way like fighting, slamming doors, breaking property, hitting someone, etc are all bad choices. When we CHOOSE to make these choices out of anger, we have _____
What is consequence?
What is the hormone released in the body when the body activates the fight or flight system? This causes you to experience a racing heart, feel little to no pain and have an immediate energy burst.
What is adrenaline.
Refusing to admit the truth or reality of something unpleasant. Doing this causes anger in the other person and is a tactic in individuals that gaslight.
What is denial/denying?
Name 3 body language movements that communicate anger.
Jaw thrust, Nostril flaring, Hot Temperature, Dilated Pupils, Chest Puffing, Lowered Eyebrows, Teeth Licking, Blading/Squaring Up, Clenched Fists, Tightened Muscles, Sneering, Rattling
What is the feeling of bitterness that someone has when they wish that they could have the qualities or possessions that another person has. This is a primary emotion preceding anger.
What is jealousy?
What are 3 healthy ways to deal with anger?
Journaling, Talking to trusted people to get different perspective, Counting to 10, Exercise, Replay the tape, Breathe, Walk away from the trigger, Meditate, Self-Talk
Using this horseman can eventually cause your partner to feel unheard, distant, invalidated, withdrawn and may increase resentment towards you.
What is Stonewalling
The opposite of taking accountability. (Even one will get you points.)
What is justifying, minimizing, denying or rationalizing.
What is defensiveness?
The tendency of a convicted criminal to reoffend. Doing something bad or illegal again after having been punished or after having stopped a certain behavior.
What is recidivism?
The term for an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions.
What is compromise?
Purposely causing someone to react or behave angry or hostile towards you.
What is to antagonize?
What is it called when you take unwanted emotions or traits you don't like about yourself and attribute them or act upon them towards someone else.
What is PROJECTING.
Name the 4 Horsemen. (Not of the Apocalypse! Of the end of your relationship)
1. Criticism
2. Defensiveness
3. Stonewalling
4. Contempt
When someone chooses not to hit another back, retaliate or stoop down to the antagonizer's level, this person is demonstrating...(Starts with a C)
What is control
Name 3 consequences of handling anger inappropriately?
Arrest, jail or prison, legal cases (DCFS, Parole, Probation), relapse/substance abuse, loss of relationships with loved ones, loneliness, fighting, associating yourself with the wrong crowd, incarceration
What is the hormone released into bloodstream when the body perceives stress?
What is cortisol?
One of the horsemen. The feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn.
What is contempt
When you rebuttal and constantly try to defend your position without trying to hear what the other person has to say and place blame elsewhere to minimize/justify your actions.
What is deflecting.
Name 2 "coping skills" that may also reinforce anger.
What is Staying Quiet, Isolating, Walking Away, Holding your Tongue, Ignoring, Stuffing
What happens to your body physically when you hold onto anger (grudges or resentments) for extended periods of time? Name 3.
High blood pressure, increased anxiety, decreased mental health, lowered immune system, headache/migraines, increased stress, increased risk for stroke/brain aneurysms, early death
Its easy to avoid anger. True or False?
False! Everyone gets angry and it is an important emotion. Learning how to manage it will allow you to have positive interactions throughout your day.