Red Flags
Your partner gets angry when you spend time with friends without them. What might this signal?
A warning sign of controlling behavior.
A person repeatedly tries to make you doubt your memory or perception of events. What is this called?
Gaslighting
Two people disagree about a date plan, listen, and compromise. What is this?
Healthy conflict resolution.
A partner demands access to your location at all times. What could this be?
Digital monitoring and/or controlling behavior
Someone uses intimidation, threats, and pressure to limit a partner's choices. What is this?
Coercive control
Your partner makes jokes about your looks or intelligence, then says you are too sensitive. What is this?
Belittling or emotional abuse
Your partner stops speaking to you for days to punish you for disagreeing. What is this?
Punitive silent treatment or emotional manipulation; different from a respectful cooling-off period.
Someone says they feel uneasy about a friendship but will not decide whom you see. What is this?
Expressing feelings without controlling another person.
A partner gets angry if you do not answer a text in five minutes. What is the concern?
An unreasonable demand for constant availability
Someone stops seeing friends because their partner gets angry. What is happening?
Social isolation
Your partner threatens to break up unless you do something uncomfortable. What is this?
Emotional manipulation or coercion
If you loved me, you would give me your password. What tactic is being used?
Guilt-based pressure to surrender privacy.
Someone keeps pressuring their partner for sexual activity after hearing no. What is this?
Sexual coercion; consent must be freely given and can be withdrawn.
Someone threatens to share intimate pictures unless their partner stays. What is this?
Image-based sexual abuse or sextortion; coercion
Why might someone remain with a partner who mistreats them?
Love, hope, fear, practical barriers, and manipulation can coexist; staying does not mean consenting to abuse.
After frightening you, your partner apologizes, becomes very affectionate, then repeats the behavior. What pattern is this?
A recurring pattern of abuse and reconciliation; apologies alone do not establish change.
After yelling, your partner says: Look what you made me do? What is this?
Blame-shifting; people are responsible for their own actions.
Someone feels jealous but manages that feeling without punishing or restricting their partner. What skills is this?
Healthy emotional regulation
Someone logs into your accounts without permission and deletes contacts. What is this?
Privacy violation; digital abuse; Use of control
A partner alternates kindness and mistreatment, making the good periods feel especially powerful. What can this do?
Intermittent reinforcement can strengthen the attachment and make the relationship confusing.
A partner never hits you but dictates your clothes, friends, and whereabouts. Can this be abuse?
Yes.. Coercive control can be abusive without physical violence.
You change your friends, clothes, and opinions because you fear upsetting your partner. What might this reflect??
The effects of coercive control on autonomy and self-esteem.
Both partners sometimes yell, but one is afraid to disagree because of threats. Why does this distinction matter?
Patterns of power, fear, and coercion matter more than counting arguments or assuming equal responsibility.
A partner has your passwords and location when you want to leave the relationship. Why might blocking them be unsafe?
They may still monitor you or retaliate; plan digital and personal safety with a trusted adult.
Someone repeatedly blamed for abuse begins believing it is their fault. What can ongoing manipulation effect?
Self-esteem, judgement, and the ability to recognize abusive patterns.