Scary Situations
What are some scary situations (traumas) that kids can experience?
Hurt physically
Touched inappropriately
Not taken to the doctor when sick
Hurt in an accident
Witnessed something scary happening to someone else
Safety is threatened
Learned about something scary happening to someone else
Made fun of or put down ALL THE TIME by family
True or False: Trauma changes the way our brain processes things
True!
FALSE. It is never okay to hit someone and never okay for someone to hit you.
True or False: If someone is bullied, it means something is wrong with them
FALSE
True or False: The way I feel about myself and the world can change
TRUE
True or False: If I can't fully remember a scary situation, it must mean that it wasn't important.
False!
Its normal to forget some parts of scary situations. Sometimes our brain tries to protect us by hiding some parts of things. It doesn't mean that what happen didn't matter
Fight, flight, or freeze
What are some reasons that kids or adults fight each other by hitting or throwing things.
Angry and don't know how to manage it
They feel hurt and want to hurt someone else
Other ideas?
True or False: Bullying only happens to children and teenagers
FALSE- Adults can be bullies too
True or False: Learning to manage my emotions means I will never be scared again
False- fear is important and helps us stay safe! We want to learn to notice fear when it happens but also feel confident making safe choices. These are things that we can learn in therapy!
True or False: A lot of kids go through scary situations
TRUE
About 60% of children experience an "adverse childhood experience" which can include trauma, but also parental divorce or experiencing homelessness
What are some emotions kids may feel after experiencing a scary situation?
Fear, anger, sadness, guilt, shame, frustration, confusion, overwhelm, numbness.... plus lots more
True or False: If I tell someone that I was hurt, I'm a "tattle tail"
FALSE- lets talk about the difference between tattling and keeping ourselves safe
Call them names
Hurt them
Say mean things about them
Tell others to say/do mean things to them
Text/post online mean things about them
Others too!
TF-CBT is a treatment that we will use to help cope with emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that occur after trauma.
In TF-CBT, we do things "gradually" and our skills "build" on each other. What do you think that means?
Gradually means that we do things slowly and we wait until we are ready to move forward.
Our skills "building" means that one skill might help us later. Although a later step might seem too hard- we will be pros by the time we get there!
True or False? Only bad kids go through scary things.
False! Scary situations can happen to anyone. It doesn't mean that you are bad or you did anything wrong.
What are some ways that things change for kids after something scary happens?
Avoidance
Intrusive Thoughts
Exaggerated Emotions
Changing Thoughts about Self/World/Others
What are some things that kids do after they are hurt?
Would they act differently?
Cry
Spend more time alone
Try to be PERFECT so they don't get hurt again
Try to protect themselves by hurting others
Always be "on guard" for someone to hurt them
What are some reasons that someone would be a bully?
The bully feels bad about themself
The bully wants to feel powerful
The bully is trying to make friends by being mean to you (not a good way to make friends)
Why do you think it is important that we talk about the scary things that happen to us?
Sometimes this is a way for us to get help and stop the bad things!
We can also learn how to cope and get through difficult emotions and thoughts.
We can feel better when we don't "push down" our feelings. It's important to get support so that we feel better and can do the things that we want to do!
What are some reasons that kids don't talk about the scary things that happened to them?
Fear of being picked on
Fear that people will think they made it up/won't believe them
Fear that people will blame them for what happened
Guilt or shame about what happened
Not knowing how to explain it
Want to avoid thinking about it/Want to forget it
What are some thoughts kids might have after a scary experience?
My fault
I should have done more
I deserve that
People are evil
The world is not safe
Many more!
What are some reasons that it is hard for children to talk about times when they were hurt?
Feel like it is their fault
Worry that the parent will get in trouble
Worry that they will get in trouble
Feel shame about the situation (like it means something is wrong with their family)
Worry that others won't believe me
What are some thoughts that children have when they are bullied?
I am a bad person
There is something wrong with me
Nobody likes me
School is a bad place
I will never have friends
I am not safe
I want to fight them back
Who can I ask for help if I have a hard time with this treatment?
My therapist
My trusted adults (let's identify them)