The Brain
We learned about A______ and how it sometimes makes mountains (big problems) out of molehills (little problems
Amygdala
We all show anger in the same way
FALSE: anger looks different for all of us. It looks and feels different in our bodies and we show it in different ways.
What is an example of a negative defense mechanism?
Yelling, screaming, hitting, kicking, arguing, destroying property, etc. Anything that shows that you are not choosing to be in control of your responses (reacting versus responding)
Can someone feel anger in their face? Yes or no. Explain your thinking
Yes, anger can felt in any part of the body. Some people feel anger in their face and notice their face getting hot, red, blotchy, or their muscles getting tight.
You texted a friend and they didn't respond.
Identify a thought that would result in you feeling angry
"They are ignoring me"
"They don't want to talk to me, some friend they are!"
"They are so unreliable, ugh!"
Our Amygdala is responsible for our F____, F_____, or F_____ response
Fight, Flight, or Freeze
Positive Defense Mechanisms are harder to use
TRUE: while positive defense mechanisms are the right thing to use, they require a lot more practice and thinking.
Remember! Using a positive defense mechanism gives you self-respect
What is an example of a positive defense mechanism?
Using a coping skill: talking to an adult, taking a break, taking deep breaths, talking it out with a friend, doing a calming activity, etc. Anything that requires you to stop and think of an appropriate response (responding not reacting)
Do you think that emotions can be masked by other emotions? Explain
Absolutely. Sometimes people outwardly show anger when they are sad, embarrassed, frustrated, etc. Sometimes people show sadness when they are really angry. Some people even smile and laugh when they are really hurting and sad.
You texted a friend and they didn't respond.
Identify a thought that leads to you feeling just a little disappointed
"I guess they are busy"
"Maybe they are helping with something"
"I don't always respond to texts right away, they don't have to either"
Give an example of a time when your Amygdala response is helpful
You are in real danger: there is a fire, tornado, or someone is trying to do real harm to you
A reaction is better than a response
FALSE: a reaction is quick, automatic, and does not require much thinking. Reactions come from our Amygdala. A response requires thinking and planning and usually has less emotional energy behind it.
Landon got a bad grade on a test that he didn't study for in the first place.
What is a positive defense mechanism he can use?
Take a deep breath, ask for help from the teacher, use positive-self talk to encourage himself to study next time, etc.
We have automatic thoughts (think back to "should" beliefs), but are they always factual and correct?
No! Often are automatic thoughts are distorted. It can be us jumping to conclusions, making a big deal out of something not so big, or assuming something without all the evidence.
Jimmy went to a birthday party on Saturday and brought home a piece of cake. He put it in the refrigerator and when he went to eat it on Wednesday, it was gone! Jimmy was furious.
What thought led to Jimmy being furious.
"Someone ate my cake! How dare they!"
"This is so unfair! I just wanted to enjoy my cake!"
Give an example of a time when your Amygdala response is not needed
You are not in immediate danger. You have time to stop and think
We will always respond the same way to things that upset us. There's no way we can change our reactions.
FALSE! With practice and effort, you can work towards using better and more positive defense mechanisms.
Ariel worked hard on her volcano science project. When Mikey was angry, he knocked her project off the table.
What would a negative defense mechanism be in this situation? What positive defense could Ariel try?
Negative: yelling, pushing, shoving, kicking her own project and destroying it further
Positive: take deep breaths, ask for help if needed, assess the damage, talk to Mikey later when they are both calm and explain how his behavior affected her, ask Mikey later to help her fix it
Do you believe that different parts of your brain work alone? Or do you believe they work together to help you make decisions?
Our brain is constantly doing teamwork. At times, our Amygdala gets a bit bossy when it doesn't need to be and tries to make decisions that are more harmful than helpful. However, even when our Amygdala is working correctly (when you are in real danger), it does not work alone
Amy is starting at a new school. On her first day, no one offered to sit with her at lunch, and everyone talked to each other but not to her.
Identify what Amy might have been thinking and might have been feeling.
Amy might have thought that no one wanted to be friends with her and felt hurt or sad.
Amy might have understood that her classmates didn't know her yet and were probably preoccupied. She maybe felt determined to try to talk to them the next day.
When we use a negative defense mechanism, which part of our brain is in control?
Remember! Your Amygdala's job is to get you out of real danger only. It is important that you use other parts of your brain (Pre frontal cortex) to make decisions about how to respond
Our thoughts control our feelings
TRUE: when we decide to feel mad, sad, frustrated, happy, amused, etc. we choose our feelings based on how we think about the situation
Tell us about a time that you reacted to a small problem in a big way. What could you have done differently?
Give an Example
Do we get to an age when our brains stop growing and learning new things?
No, our brains are constantly growing and absorbing new knowledge.
Jimmy went to a birthday party on Saturday and brought home a piece of cake. He put it in the refrigerator and when he went to eat it on Wednesday, it was gone! Jimmy was furious.
What is a different, more rational thought Jimmy could have that would change his feeling?
"I guess it got moldy...that's a bummer but at least I won't get sick"
This would also change his feeling from furious to just disappointed.