Time Traveling, Tea Spilling
In the ancient time game, this empire ran its schedule off the moon's mood swings.
What is the Babylonian lunar calendar
In the West, bells and gears were everything. In the East, they were exotic—these fellows brought them in.
Who are Jesuits like Matteo Ricci
Based on the Mooring Moon—this calendar had everyone stuck in perpetual date confusion.
What is the lunar calendar
He watched a chandelier sway at church and thought, “This swing hits different”—cue time revolution.
Who is Galileo Galilei
Before clocks sailed, captains had to rely on vibes and... this guessy nonsense.
What is dead reckoning
They gave us 365 fabulous days per year, tied to Nile flooding—seasonal and civilly savage.
What is the Egyptian solar calendar
They rang bells and built towers—but China tried to copy and alter them. It was...complicated.
What are Chinese adaptations of Western clock technology
Egypt said “we’ll just ignore the moon”—with this calendar, they synced with seasons, not rituals.
What is the solar calendar
He called the universe a “perfect clock,” but didn’t actually invent one. Universe goals, though.
Who is Isaac Newton
These timepieces were unbothered by waves, moisture, and sass. Sea captains said: “We NEED that.”
What are marine chronometers
Julius said “add a leap day, babe,” but centuries later, everyone canceled him with a 10-day eraser. What kind of calendar(s) is/are this?
What are the Julian and Gregorian calendars
Not astrology’s doing—this tool brought time down from the heavens into human hands with a mechanical glow-up.
What is the mechanical clock
Julian added too many leap days, centuries rolled by, and—plot twist—we needed to skip 10 of them.
What is the Gregorian reform
This 14th-century monk said clocks could keep monks honest—but didn’t expect the TikTokification of faith.
Who is Richard of Wallingford
This Brit spent 40 years on sea clocks and STILL had to fight for prize money. Rude.
Who is John Harrison
Before tick-tocking, humans were floating points of sand and water with this sleek device.
What are hourglasses and water clocks
Ships needed something better than guesswork. He built the timepiece that turned ocean chaos into navigation, period.
Who is John Harrison
Easter drama caused more rewrites than a reality show reunion—still ongoing calendar tea.
What is the controversy over calculating Easter dates
He tried to make a universal calendar and instead just made everyone fight over Easter forever.
Who is Dionysius Exiguus
To find longitude, you needed to know this—but it wasn’t just a number, it was life or death.
What is the time at a reference location (like Greenwich)
Longitude needed a hero, and this late-night marine genius delivered with a precise second hand.
Who is John Harrison (marine chronometer)
When calendars were off by days, he sorted the crisis—deny that Pope power is full-time.
Who is Pope Gregory XIII
Cultural calendars don’t care about your #GregorianGoals—this religion sticks to the moon like it’s destiny.
What is the Islamic lunar calendar
This fancy French academy called Harrison's early clock crazy—scientific shade at its finest.
What is the French Academy of Sciences
The Longitude Act said “we’ll pay BANK if you fix this.” Spoiler: no one was ready for Harrison’s slay.
What is the British Longitude Act of 1714