The Elephant in the Room

Getting Along

100

You feel that someone is consistently being rude to you or making unpleasant faces at you when you walk past them in the hall. What could you do?

Try to ignore them (be the bigger person), talk it out, avoid them, use humor

200

You have a friend who borrows many of your things but tends to forget to bring them back. What could you do?

Set a deadline for returns or avoid lending items to them in the future

300

You and your friend have not been as close recently. How can you approach this conversation?

Let them know what is bothering you calmly. Tell them how important it is that you still be friends.

400

One of your friends is teasing you and suddenly the joke gets taken too far. What should you do?

Calm down FIRST! Use "I feel" statements and once you are calm let them know what/why you are upset.

500

You heard students talking in Buchman and you thought you heard your name come up.

Ignore them if you can. Ask them about it calmly. If they were talking about you, then use an I-message: "I feel upset when you're talking about me behind my back. I need you to stop doing that and talk to me directly."

Respecting Differences

100

You hear somebody use a term that upsets you or offends you. (Examples: "That's so gay") How do you handle this?

Calmly explain to them that while they might not realize certain terms are offensive, microaggressions can have negative impacts on people around them. Ask them to avoid using that type of language around you.

200

You meet a new person and learn that their pronouns are different than what you thought they were. They use the pronouns "they/them", but you mess up, what should you do?

You should quickly correct yourself, and use the right pronouns. Do not drag out the situation and apologize profusely, this usually only makes them uncomfortable. If they appear like they are really upset later, address them separately and apologize.

300

Somebody is insulting you based on your faith (or lack of faith). Which of the following is the best response? A - Insult their views in return B - Get violent C - Ignore the statement and continue talking to them D - Address why you are upset and ask them not to do that

What is D

400

You asked your friend about her father, and she got very upset because she doesn't see her father anymore. You didn't mean to hurt her feelings but didn't realize that this might be a sensitive topic. What should you do?

Apologize to her immediately. Explain to her that you didn't realize and didn't want to hurt her feelings. Tell her that if she needs anything, you are always there to listen.

500

Someone you have never met is in one of your classes, and they are from a different country. You talk to them and assume they are from Mexico, but they are really Brazil. They got very offended by this, what should you do?

Apologize for offending them. Let them know that you weren't trying to offend them. Most importantly, next time remember to not make the same quick judgments.

Classroom Conflict

100

You feel like your professor singles you out, and belittles your question in class. What should you do?

Ask them after class, or during office hours why they did this and tell them that it upset you. If your professor sees no issue, talk to the Director of the program about your issue.

200

You're working on a group project and members of the group are arguing about the best approaches to the topic. Everyone seems to be irritated because they all think that they are right. What could you do?

Take a break to cool off and think. Suggest taking turns explaining each person's ideas. Take a vote to reach a compromise.

300

You are working on a group project, and one of your members doesn't do any work, what should you do?

You should make it known that each member has specific responsibilities. Make it known that if each member doesn't do their work, they will be penalized. Go to the professor if the problem continues. You should always make group contracts.

400

There is a kid in your class who constantly speaks out and is very rude about it, which agitates you, what should you do?

Talk to the professor in private. Explain that this is distracting you from your schoolwork, and you are worried it is affecting others as well. Ask the professor to handle the situation.

500

You notice a mistake on your professor's powerpoint, what should you?

Email them and correct them so that they know that they are giving misinformation so that they can change it. Don't gloat about knowing the information.

Roommate

100

Your roommate is always in the room, and you feel like you never get any time alone, what should you do?

Talk to your roommate, and tell them that you need more time alone, ask them if you can have designated times that you each have your room to yourself. If this doesn't work, find a quiet place on campus you can be by yourself, put in headphones while in the room together to try to feel alone as possible. If this really bothers you and things don't change, talk to your RA.

200

You notice that your roommate doesn't do their laundry, or take the trash out, and the room is always messy. What should you do?

Create a schedule of cleaning days. Pick certain days to do laundry together and alternate times when you both take out the trash.

300

Your roommate has friends over in the evenings and you have morning classes, what should you do?

Explain the issue to your roommate. Establish an agreement of when friends should leave the room by.

400

Your roommate is using your stuff (clothes, makeup, etc.), and you aren't okay with this. What should you do?

Tell them that you don't feel comfortable with this and that you don't want to share your things. If they continue to do this, you can get locks and lock up the things they keep trying to use.

500

Your bath roommate leaves the bathroom dirty every time that they use it, what should you do?

Address the issue. Tell them calmly that this isn't acceptable. Establish that everyone needs to clean up after themselves.

Relationship Issues

100

One of your friends always decides what you are going to do (dinner, activities) and you are starting to feel frustrated, what should you do?

Ask if you can decide what to do. Compromise and always make sure that everyone has a say in what you do. Take votes.

200

You borrowed a friend's item, and you lost it. Your friend seems really upset by this, what should you do?

Apologize. Replace the item as quickly as you can for your friend.

300

Your friend has been hanging out with someone you don't like recently, what should you do?

If you are really their friend, then you can't ask them to choose between you and the other person. You should allow them to continue to be friends, and even try to give that person a chance so maybe you can all be friends.

400

You and your friend work together, and they keep asking you to do their part of the job to cover for them, what should you do?

Exchange responsibilities so you feel covered as well. If you don't want to cover for them, tell them that need to find someone else to do this, or they need to do their own job.

500

You are always paying for your significant other's meals, but they never offer to pay for you. This makes you upset. Which is the best answer? A) Take money from their wallet B)Break up with them and find someone else who pays for you C)Talk to them and work out a system of "going dutch" D)Avoid going out to eat

C