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“Somehow Christmas was making me feel jumpy inside. All this talk about being
together and being happy and celebrating—it felt threatening. Like I shouldn’t be part of it. Like I wasn’t
allowed. And Susan wanted me to be happy, which was scarier still.” Why is Christmas making Ada feel jumpy and anxious?
She is not used to kindness or being loved. She is uncomfortable with the positive attention and signs of affection because her mother's abuse only taught her fear and ugliness.