Emotional Awareness
This feeling can show up as yelling or anger but is often actually fear or panic.
Answer: What is anxiety/panic?
Practice It: “Name a time this week when anger was actually something else.”
Talking in this kind of voice helps calm the brain first.
Answer: What is a calm, neutral tone?
Practice it: Say “Not right now” in a calm tone vs. escalated tone, compare.
These four values were identified by the family.
Answer: What are safety, fun, respect, connection?
When limits are set on electronics, one may feel this.
Answer: What is frustrated / anxious / upset?
The “S” in SODAS stands for this.
Answer: What is Situation?
When your body feels tight, fast, or overwhelmed, this system is activated.
Answer: What is fight/flight/freeze response?
Before problem-solving, we should do this first.
Answer: What is validate feelings / connect emotionally?
Practice it: One person shares a frustration; another responds with validation only (no fixing).
This helps everyone know what to expect and reduces anxiety.
Answer: What is predictable routines/structure?
This helps make tech rules clear and fair.
Answer: What is clear expectations / consistent rules?
Practice: Family states one tech rule clearly and calmly.
Name one part of SODAS besides Situation.
Answer: What are Options / Disadvantages / Advantages / Solution?
Name one early warning sign that you are getting escalated.
Answer: What is raised voice / rigid thinking / pacing / fast breathing?
Practice It: Each person shares their early warning sign.
Taking this amount of planned space can help regulate emotions.
Answer: What is 10 minutes of space?
Practice how to offer and take space using calm language.
When parents respond the same way each time, it builds this.
Answer: What is consistency / trust?
This tool helps track honesty and follow-through.
Answer: What is a trust meter?
Saying “I feel ___ when ___ and express a positive need” is an example of this.
Answer: What is an I-statement?
Practice It: Each person makes one I-statement.
This is what one often feels when told “not right now.”
Answer: What is feeling rejected / disconnected / anxious?
Practice: Use validation to acknowedge big feelings.
Name one DBT skill to calm down quickly.
Answer: What is deep breathing / cold water / trampoline / movement?
Practice: Do 30 seconds of a chosen skill together.
This plan tells everyone what to do during big escalations.
Answer: What is a safety plan / crisis plan?
Practice: Quick review, “What is step 1 when things escalate?” (ex: Safe word, escalation continuum, and appropriate responses)
A good response when one asks for more screen time after a limit is set.
Answer: What is calm repetition of the limit (“not right now”)?
This helps someone feel understood before solving the problem.
Answer: What is validation?
Practice It: Turn a complaint into a validating response.
This state of mind balances emotions and logic to make effective decisions.
Answer: What is Wise Mind?
Practice It:
Each person gives:
Example prompt: “I want more screen time.”
“Happy Accidents & Starfleet Choices”
In Bob Ross’s world, mistakes are “happy accidents,” and in Star Trek, captains must stay calm under pressure, this skill combines both ideas to handle problems without escalating.
Answer: What is flexibility and perspective-taking during challenges?
Practice It:
Optional role-play:
When plans change and you feel stuck or upset, this skill helps you shift instead of staying rigid.
Answer: What is flexible thinking?
Practice a scenario: “Plans changed last minute.”
Each person says:
“Debugging the Brain”
When your emotions spike like a glitchy program, this skill helps you pause, check the system, and choose a better response instead of reacting automatically.
Answer: What is using Wise Mind to “debug” your reaction?
Frame it like debugging:
Then act it out:
This skill means understanding another person’s thoughts and feelings, even if they are different from yours.
Answer: What is perspective-taking?
Practice It: Pick a recent conflict: