Section 1
What does it mean to “get even”?
Getting even means doing something to retaliate as a way to get back at someone.
A person sitting across from you keeps kicking your feet under the table. What are 2 reasons they might be doing this?
There could be many reasons.
Maybe they are upset with you and are trying to get even. Or maybe they have excess energy and don't realize how they're impacting you.
Be sure to let them know how you feel and what you need. Get help from a trusted adult if you need it!
You feel angry at your friend for making a hurtful joke about you. They did not mean to make you feel upset. Do they still owe you an apology?
Yes, the trouble is, they may not know it. In some cases you have to express your feelings before the other person can understand that they owe you an apology. It is positive to tell them how you feel and brainstorm ways to avoid this in the future.
What does it mean to “fight fire with fire”?
This is a way to describe getting even. The analogy reflects on the dangers of retaliation because using fire to fight fires only makes matters worse!
OOPS!
You cheat on your test because you didn't study. Continue to see the consequence:
The person you copied, didn't study either. You both failed the test!
Lose these points.
Is “getting even” ever a good thing?
Usually the answer is NO! It may not be bad to get even sometimes, such as when playing board games or in friendly competition. Getting even should only be done when the behavior is safe, appropriate, and wanted.
You call someone an unkind name and later say “I’m sorry if you were feeling hurt”. Is this a positive way to apologize?
No. It is important to avoid saying “if” or “but” in a genuine apology, because it places blame on the other person’s reaction rather than taking accountability for your behavior.
Tell about a time you got even with someone.
How did they feel afterwards? How did you feel?
What does this phrase mean?
“An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind”
This means that when we use retaliation to “get even” when someone hurts us, it only ends up hurting everyone more.
Tell about a time someone got even with you.
SORRY!
Your catch you sibling wearing your favorite shirt. You decide to get even by taking their new pair of headphones without asking. Click to reveal the consequence:
This is not a good choice! Your parent catches you using the headphones your sibling has been searching for, and decides to ground you for a week! Subtract these points from your score.
Oh no!
You weren't being careful and you spill paint all over the floor. Instead of taking accountability, you blame the dog. Continue to see the consequence:
Your dog now has to have a bath, and he hates baths! Now he is tied up outside and you still have to clean up the mess.
Lose these points.
Respond to an acquaintance who says “I’m really sorry for the way I acted when my team won the game. I gloated and said unkind words to you. I wasn’t thinking about how that would make you feel, because I was only thinking about my own excitement. I would have been pretty mad if you did that to me. Can you forgive me?
Did you accept the apology? If so, good work! Award full points!
If you were able to express your feelings in your response, award DOUBLE points!
If you didn’t accept the apology please explain why you didn't. No points will be awarded.
What does the phrase “forgiveness is not for the other person” mean?
This means that forgiveness is healing for the person giving forgiving. Often times, forgiveness is given even without an apology being offered. Forgiveness means giving yourself permission to let go of anger or other uncomfortable feelings.
When is the best time to apologize for a mistake?
A. When you get caught.
B. Right away.
C. Never. DENY DENY DENY!
B. Right away.
We shouldn't wait until we get caught just to apologize, that would make it seem insincere. We should never withhold an apology if we are in the wrong.
What does it mean to “take accountability”?
Taking accountability means owning up or admitting to a mistake that you made. It also means agreeing to fix the problem/clean up the mess and/or committing to making positive changes/choices in the future.
Someone tells you that your friend has been ignoring you because you said something that hurt there feelings. You decide to try and resolve the issue. Pick another player to role play as your friend, and show what this might look like.
Full points if you were able to take accountability. Award points to the other player if they were able to express themselves and accept your apology.
Think of another way to say "I forgive you".
"that's okay"
"no problem"
"Don't sweat it"
Tell about a situation where an insincere apology was given.
Why wasn't it genuine? How do you know it was insincere?
Tell about a time when you were offered an apology by someone.
Were you able to forgive them?
Was this a difficult choice?
Why or why not?
Uh-Oh!
You are playing with a ball in the house. You lose control of the ball, and it knocks a glass onto the floor, shattering it to pieces. You worry your parent will be angry and try to think of a good excuse. Continue to see what happens next:
After thinking it through, you decide instead to be honest and tell them what happened. They thank you for your honest and help you with cleaning up the mess. You agree not to use the ball inside anymore. Good choice! Get full points!
Practice making an apology and have another player give you feedback. If you’ve already completed this challenge pick another player to do this and give them your feedback instead.
Keep working on the apology until you've used the tips from the other player and until you both agree the apology is complete. Then get full points!
Practice making an apology and have another player give you feedback. If you’ve already completed this challenge, pick another player to do this and give them your feedback instead.
Keep working on the apology until you've used the tips from the other player and until you both agree the apology is complete.
SORRY!
You steal $20.00 from your teacher's desk, and use it to buy snacks in the lunchroom.
Your teacher never finds out that it was you but now you feel guilty and worried each time she calls your name!
Lose these points.
Tell about a time when you had to apologize to someone.
Did you make the decision to do this yourself?
Did the other person accept your apology?