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I try to dominate, manipulate, and control others. I know the right way to do things but I prefer to do things “my way.” I view every situation as a win or lose and I will do anything, even wrong or illegal things, to make sure I win.
What is Power Play?
I do not show care or concern for others. I fail to consider the rights and feelings of others. I do what I want to do, when I want to do it – regardless of who I disappoint or hurt.
What is Selfish?
I wear a mask and a false front. I give the right answer even though that is not how I truly think or feel. On the outside, I appear to be a good citizen but underneath this mask there are often deviant/criminal, and hidden behaviors.
What is Mr. Goodguy?
I discount my inappropriate behavior. I try to make wrong behavior appear insignificant. Sometimes I compare my wrong behavior to “worse” behavior, so I don’t appear to be so bad.
What is Minimize?
I can do this in public or in my mind. I exaggerate the mistakes and weaknesses of others in order to put them down so I can feel superior. If I do this in public, I am trying to raise my status while tearing down another person.
What is Making Fools Of?
I am close-minded. My communication is the opposite of open communication. I do not reveal my true thoughts and feelings. Also, I do not accept feedback from others.
What is Closed Channel?
I do not answer questions when I know the answer would be unpleasant. I hop over the question and answer a different question or change the subject. I will try to change the subject or redefine a problem so I don’t have to talk about things I don’t want to.
What is Hop Over?
I will look confused even though I really know what is going on. I will try to convince others that I do not know what to do or what is expected of me. I will typically use confusion as a way to avoid responsibility or as an excuse for not doing what I was supposed to do.
What is Confusion?
Assuming I know the thoughts, motives and intentions of others. Not bothering to ask other people what they think or what is important.
What is Mind Reading?
I am impulsive. I do not wait for the proper time to do things. I cannot delay my desires. I do it when I want to, even if it is not the right time.
What is Can't Wait?
I use secrecy and secrets to control others, make myself feel powerful and continue being deviant. I try to develop secret relationships with others who I think will help me be deviant. I develop some secret relationships with people I plan to manipulate or abuse. I can also use secrets in treatment to avoid letting other people know me.
What is Secretiveness?
I try to look like I am hurt like everyone is picking on me. I try to get others to give me love and support so I won’t have to be responsible. I will use this thinking error to get those in authority to switch from holding me accountable to being my rescuer.
What is Poor Me?
I present myself as incapable and unable to do what I am asked. I think if I look helpless, people won’t expect much of me and I won’t be held accountable
What is Helpless?
Feelings of being extremely mad, outraged, and aggressive. This feeling occurs in many situations/most of the time and is intense and spreads. This feeling can lead to criminal or deviant sexual acts. It is used to shift the focus from me or the problem to something else. It is also sometimes used for revenge or to justify hurting someone.
What is Anger?
I use legalistic arguments to create a cloud of words to confuse and distract others from what is really relevant. I skillfully focus on rules or morals and I hide behind them so that others cannot force me to be responsible. I especially like to ignore the spirit of a law or a rule so I can use a literal interpretation to mislead others. I divert attention from real issues by focusing on irrelevant, nit-picking details
What is Perry Mason?
I think the world owes me. I feel superior to others, even though I have done nothing to earn that feeling. I want others to treat me special and if they don’t, I get mad… and I get even.
What is Entitlement?
I try to replace the victim as the one who was really hurt. When I do this I try to convince others that I was more hurt than the victim was.
What is Victim Stance?
I make excuses or explanations to explain away my inappropriate behavior. I try to make something wrong appear like it is not wrong.
What is Justifying?
I believe I am such a slick, deviant person that no one will catch me, or be wise to my deviant tricks and plans. I am aware that if I do wrong and get caught I will be punished but I think I won’t get caught, or if I do get caught, I will be able to talk my way out of it.
What is Super-Optimism?
I feel worthless, like I am a nothing. I think other people can tell I am a zero, or I am afraid that others may discover I am really a nothing. I believe that things will never change – that I will always be a zero. I may engage in illegal or dangerous activities so I can prove to others or myself that I am not a zero.
What is Zero State?
I keep track of the times another person confronts me or argues with me. When I think the other person is wrong, or in a position of weakness, I attack that person. I try to hurt them so I can even the score.
What is Keeping Score?
I do things just to get others to praise me. My heart is not in what I am doing. I am just trying to get others to say “good job” or “at-a-boy.”
What is Pet Me?
I blame someone or something for causing me to act as I did. I blame others so I can avoid responsibility for my actions.
What is Blaming?
I view others as a possession. I act as if I have total control over another person. I ignore the fact that the person has feelings and needs. I abuse power in the relationship.
What is Ownership?
I feel I am different than others. Even though my crime may be similar, I have ways of proving that I am different. I think because I am different, the things that apply to others don’t apply to me. This is especially true when it comes to rules, laws and consequences – I know they don’t apply to others but I believe that if people would just realize how different I was, they would realize that these things don’t apply to me.
What is Uniqueness?