POOR ME
POOR ME
I try to get others to feel sorry for me. I know that if I can get others to feel sorry for me, I might not get punished for bad things that I have done. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself, so I can justify not following rules. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself so I can justify doing deviant or illegal things.
I abuse my power. I try to control others. I try to control situations. I don’t do things the right way. I do things “my way.” I view every situation as a win or lose and I will do anything, even wrong or illegal things, to make sure I win.
I am close-minded. I do not reveal my true thoughts and feelings. I do not accept feedback from others.
MINIMIZING
I try to make wrong behavior appear small or insignificant. Sometimes I compare my wrong behavior to “worse” behavior, so I don’t appear to be so bad
I do not answer questions when I know the answer would be unpleasant. I hop over the question and answer a different question or change the subject. I will try to change the subject.
VICTIM STANCE
I try to replace the victim as the one who was hurt. When I do this I try to convince others that I was more hurt than the victim was.
UNIQUENESS
I feel I am different than others. I think because I am different, the things that apply to others don’t apply to me. This is especially true when it comes to rules, laws and consequences - I know they apply to others but I believe that if people would just realize how different I was, they would realize that these things don’t apply to me.
I develop secret relationships with others who I think will help me be deviant. I develop some secret relationships with people who I plan to hurt or abuse.
JUSTIFYING
I try to make something wrong appear like it is not wrong
I will look confused even though I really know what is going on. I will try to convince others that I do not know what to do or what is expected of me. I will use confusion as an excuse for not doing what I was supposed to do.
ZERO STATE
I feel worthless and empty. I feel like I am a nothing. I get an urge to do something illegal or dangerous, so I can escape the feelings of emptiness.
I can do this in public or in my mind. I exaggerate the mistakes and weaknesses of others in order to put them down so I can feel superior. If I do this in public, I am trying to raise my status while tearing down another person.
I wear a mask or false front to hide my deviant thoughts and plans. I mislead others by looking like a citizen and pretending that I don’t have deviant or criminal fantasies, plans and behaviors.
I think the world owes me. I think that I am better than others, even though I have done nothing to earn that feeling. I want others to treat me special and if they don’t, I get mad … and I get even. I think that life is unfair if I don’t get my way.
HELPLESS
I try to make others think that I cannot do what I am asked because I am weak or I have too much stress in my life. I think if I look helpless, people won’t expect much of me.
I do things just to get others to praise me. My heart is not in what I am doing. I am just trying to get others to say “good job” or “way to go.”
I think that I know what others are thinking. I do not bother to ask other people what they think or what is important to them.
SUPER OPTIMISM
I believe I am so slick and clever that no one will catch me, or be wise to my tricks and plans. I think that I won’t get caught, or if I do get caught, I will be able to talk my way out of it.
I am impulsive. I do not wait for the proper time to do things. I cannot delay my desires. I do it when I want to, even if it is not the right time
KEEPING SCORE
I keep track of the times another person confronts me, argues with me or does me wrong. When I think I can abuse the other person, I attack that person. I try to hurt that person so I can even the score.
SELFISH
I do not show care or concern for others. I fail to consider the rights and feelings of others. I do what I want to do, when I want to do it - regardless of who I hurt.
OWNERSHIP
I view others as a possession. I act as if I own the other person. I ignore the other person’s feelings and needs. I treat the other person like my personal belonging.
CRIMINAL PRIDE
I take pride in being a criminal. My self-esteem is based on my criminal deeds and accomplishments. Criminal deeds could include criminal offenses or merely breaking rules and feeling proud that I got away with it.
BLAMING
I blame someone or something for causing me to act as I did. I blame others so I can avoid responsibility for my actions.
I let myself get angry easily. I let my anger get strong and I let it spread. I use tantrums and aggression to express anger. I also use anger to seek revenge. Sometimes I get angry, or pretend I am angry, so I can justify hurting someone.