Lesson One
Black and White Thinking
Black and White Thinking
“I always mess up.” is an example of Black and White Thinking.
Yes or no?
Yes, “I always mess up.” is an example of black and white thinking.
Which word is the colourful word?
Always OR Sometimes.
The colourful word is sometimes.
What is the extreme word in this sentence?
“I am never going to get this.”
The extreme word in this sentence is "never".
Which word could we add to "I can't do this." to make it more colourful?
Yet or Always
Instead we can say
"I can't do this YET."
If we see our friend in the hallway and wave to them, but they don't wave back, this mean that...
1. They hate me and don't want to be friends anymore.
OR
2. They probably didn't see me or they were in a hurry to get somewhere.
This means that they probably didn't see you or they were in a hurry to get somewhere else.
It is important that we don't assume the worst.
Black and white thinking can make small problems feel bigger.
Yes or no?
Yes, black and white thinking can make small problems feel bigger, and can cause us to feel stuck.
Saying "This is hard but I am getting better" is an example of thinking in color.
Yes or No.
Yes, saying "This is hard but I am getting better" is an example of thinking in color.
“Always” is an example of an extreme word.
Yes or no.
Yes, 'always' is an example of an extreme word.
"I can't do this"
to
"I can't do this yet"
What was changed to make the thought more colourful?
"YET" was added to the sentence.
Seeing something from someone else's perspective means that we...
1. Only see our side of the story because our feelings and thoughts are all that matters.
OR
2. See other sides of the story. Our friends may have different feelings, thoughts and ideas, and that's okay.
Seeing something from someone else's perspective means that we see other sides of the story. Our friends may have different feelings, thoughts and ideas, and that's okay.
Is this black and white thinking OR colour thinking?
"This is hard, but I'm getting better."
This is an example of colour thinking!
What can we add to "this is bad..." to make it more colourful?
1. "...and it will never get better."
OR
2. "...and I hate it."
OR
3. "for now."
To make "this is bad..." more colourful instead we can add...
"This is bad...for now."
Identify the extreme word:
“Some people” or “Everyone”.
The extreme word is "everyone".
How can we reframe this thought to be more colourful?
"This is the worst day ever!"
Instead we could say...
- "This isn't my favourite day."
- "Some parts were good, and some parts were bad today."
- "I didn't have fun today. I'll try again tomorrow."
When I text my friend, and they don't respond right away, I should think...
1. "They will never respond, because they don't like me."
OR
2. "Maybe they are just busy, and they will get back to me later."
When I text my friend, and they don't respond right away, I should think "Maybe they are just busy, and they will get back to me later."
Is this an example of black and white thinking OR colour thinking?
"I hate this place."
This is an example of black and white thinking!
How can we make this thought more colourful?
"I'm better than everyone."
Instead we could say...
“I’m really good at some things, and other people are good at other things.”
“I’m proud of what I can do, and I can learn from others.”
“I work hard to be good at things, and so do my friends.”
“Minecraft is the WORST game ever!”.
How can we re-frame this black-and-white sentence?
Instead we could say...
- “Minecraft is okay."
-“Some people like Minecraft."
-“Minecraft isn’t my favourite but it’s fun."
How could we make "This is always so boring." be more colourful?
1. Changing it to "This is sometimes boring.".
OR
2. We don't need to change it, this is already a colourful thought.
Instead we could say...
- "This is sometimes boring."
Why is it important to think about other's perspectives?
Thinking about other's perspectives can...
- Help us understand others — what they might be feeling or thinking.
- Prevent arguments or confusion — because we stop and think before assuming.
- And make friendships stronger — when we listen and care about how others feel.
How can we change this black and white thought to be more colorful?
"I am never going to be able to do this"
Instead we could say...
"I can't do this yet."
"I can try again later and keep practicing."
"I didn't get it this time but I can try again next time."
What does it mean to think in colour?
When we thinking in colour, we can:
- See more than two options.
- Notice details or the “middle ground”.
- Look at situations from more than one side.
Why is it important to spot extreme words in our thoughts?
Because extreme words leave no room for middle ground, no room for “colour” which can make us feel stuck and frustrated.
What are the four tips for reframing a thought?
Hint**: Remember the four C's!
1. Catch it — notice the black-and-white thought.
2. Check it — ask, “Is that always true?”
3. Change it — add colour words like sometimes, yet, for now, kind of.
4. Choose to keep going — look for what you can do next.
What are the four steps of perspective taking?
Step 1 — Notice the thought: ‘They’re ignoring me.’
Step 2 — Ask: ‘Do I know that for sure?’ Probably not.
Step 3 — Think: What else could be true? Maybe they’re in class, maybe they’re busy, maybe their phone died.
Step 4 — Plan a colour response: Instead of getting upset, you could wait a bit or check in later.