Unhelpful Thinking Traps (part 1)
Making a really big deal out of something small, or imagining the worse-case scenario, no matter how unlikely.
Ex. "If I fail this test, I won't graduate from school, and then I will be a total failure in life!!"
You get a stain on your shoes, and you think they are completely ruined and can't be worn anymore.
A- All-or-Nothing Thinking
B- Catastrophizing/Fortune Telling
C-Discounting the Positive
Blowing Things Up/ Catastrophizing/Fortune Telling
When you attach a negative label to yourself and think it applies to everything you do. Instead of acknowledging that you made a mistake, you allow the mistake the define you. This happens when we label others too.
"They are such an idiot - they don't know anything!"
"I am so stupid. Everything I say is dumb."
1-All-or-Nothing Thinking
2-Mind Reading & Fortune Telling
3-Labeling
Labeling
"If I get a bad grade on my math test tomorrow, then I will never get into a good college!"
1- All-or-Nothing Thinking
2- Labeling
3- Fortune Telling/ Catastrophizing
Blowing Things Up (Catastrophizing) or Fortune Telling.
"This is too hard! I won't ever be able to do this!"
Examples: "This is really hard."
"This is tough - but I know I can get through it."
"I don't understand this, yet."
What are 3 coping skills you can do to calm your body and mind?
What are: deep breathing, playing with a fidget, journaling, drawing, reading, yoga, going on a walk, playing with slime, talking to a parent or friend, taking a bath, listening to music, meditation, positive affirmations, baking, smelling something soothing, hugging, etc!
Downplaying the good things that have happened or that you have done for some reason or another.
Ex. "That doesn't count."
"They are just saying that to be nice, they don't really mean it."
1- Disqualifying the Positive.
2- All-or-Nothing Thinking
3- Mind Reading & Fortune Telling
Disqualifying the Positive
Making things about you when they are not. This includes blaming yourself for what is beyond your control, or taking things personally when they are not intended to be harmful to you.
Ex. When your basketball teams loses a game, you think it is entirely your fault.
"How dare that person walk in front of me – that was so disrespectful!" (When the person just didn’t notice you, and cutting you off was an honest mistake.)
1-Mind Reading & Fortune Telling
2-Magnification & Minimization
3- Personalization & Blame
Personalization & Blame
"She didn't say anything about my new haircut. She must think it is ugly!"
"Naomi didn't invite me to her birthday party. I bet it's because she thinks I am weird."
1-Mind Reading & Fortune Telling
2-Emotional Reasoning
3-Labeling
Mind Reading & Fortune Telling
"People should always be nice to me."
Examples: "I want people to be nice to me"
"I will do my best to surround myself with people who are nice and care about me"
"Not everyone is going to like me - and that's okay!"
Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds. do this 3 times!
What coping skill is this?
Deep Breathing
This is when we pay more attention to the bad things (ex. our failures), and ignore the good things (ex. our successes).
Ex. You score two goals in your soccer game, but all you can think about is the shot you missed.
1- All-or-Nothing Thinking
2- Overgeneralization
3-Mental Filtering
Mental Filtering
This is when we have high expectations about how things should be done, and think in terms of "should", "must", "supposed to". We often feel disappointed, guilty, or frustrated when we or others don't live up to our high expectations.
Ex. "People should always be nice to me."
"I should've known better."
1-Should Statements
2-Labeling
3-Personalization & Blame
Should Statements
"My parents are arguing; it is most likely my fault."
"My friend is sad today. I probably did something to upset her."
1-Mental Filtering
2- Magnification & Minimization
3- Personalization & Blame
Personalization & Blame
"She didn't say hi to me this morning, so she must be mad at me for something I did.
Examples: "There are many reasons why she did not say hi to me. It's probably not personal."
"I wonder why she didn't say hi to me. I will check in with her later and make sure everything is ok"
Name something you can see, feel/touch, hear, smell, and taste
What coping technique is this?
Grounding Technique: 5-4-3-2-1
Seeing things in only two ways, either really good or really bad, and not seeing all the possible ways in-between (or the “grey”). Most of life is somewhere in the middle.
Ex. "If I don't get an A on every test, it means I have failed."
"Either I do it PERFECT or NOT AT ALL!"
1-All-or-Nothing Thinking
2- Magnification & Minimization
3-Personalization & Blame
All or Nothing thinking (Black and White thinking)
When you apply an experience from one event, to another. When we think this way, we assume that bad things will continue to happen over and over again. Red flag words: "never", "always", "nobody", "everybody", "everything", "nothing".
Ex. "I never get my way!"
"I always mess things up!"
1-All-or-Nothing Thinking
2-Overgeneralization
3-Mental Filtering
Overgeneralizing
"I got one answer wrong on the test, and all I can think about is the mistake I made. I am so dumb!"
1-Labeling/ catastrophizing/ Mental Filtering
2- Discounting the Positive/ Mind Reading & Fortune Telling/ Magnification & Minimization
3- Emotional Reasoning/ Should Statements/ Labeling
Mental Filter, Catastrophizing or Labeling
"Ugh, this is the worst day ever!! This week is going to be horrible!"
Examples: "Today was a hard day."
"This morning was rough, but I still have the rest of the day to turn it around!"
"Wow, today was really hard. Tomorrow is a new day."
Gratitude Exercise: Name 5 things you are thankful for
Any 5 things
Believing that if you "feel" something, it must be true. Only using your feelings for evidence.
Ex. "I feel guilty, so I must have done something bad."
"I feel anxious, so that means something bad might happen."
1- Should statements
2- Emotional Reasoning
3-Labeling
What is Feelings as Facts (Emotional Reasoning)
Jumping To Conclusions is another thinking trap, and there are two key types:
1) Believing others are thinking negatively about you without any real evidence.
Ex. “They are probably thinking about how weird I look.”
2) Attempting to predict the future, and thinking that it is going to turn out in a negative way
Ex. “I bet no one is going to come to my birthday party.”
1- Mind Reading & Fortune Telling
2- Emotional Reasoning & Mental Filtering
3- Labeling & Should Statements
Mind Reading and & Fortune Telling
"I feel ugly, so I must be ugly."
1- Magnification & Minimization
2- Emotional Reasoning
3- Should Statements
Emotional Reasoning
"I feel anxious, so there something must be wrong!"
Examples: "I am feeling anxious."
"I feel anxious. I am uncomfortable and nervous, but I can handle it."
"I am feel anxious. It is my choice what I do with my anxiety. Let me start by calming my breath."
Positive Affirmations: Say 3 positive affirmations out loud!
ex. "I am enough", "I am brave", "I am important", "Mistakes are how I grow", "I will be okay"
Any affirmations