If the assistant captain of a sports team were to die, who would lead the team?
The captain
What word is spelled incorrectly in every single dictionary?
Incorrectly
Every single person at a restaurant got sick, except for two people who were completely fine. How is that possible.
These two people were a couple and, therefore, not single
What has one foot, one head, and four legs?
A bed
How can a man who shaves several times a day still sport a long beard?
He's a barber.
If there are eight oranges in a bag and you take away two, how many do you have?
Two
What is something that has teeth but can't chew?
A comb or a zipper
A group of ten ostriches are in a field. If four of them take off flying, how many are left in the field?
Ostriches can't fly.
Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, or their baby??
the baby, because he's a little Bigger.
Its 7am, and you are asleep. Suddenly, there is a knock on your door, there your parents are for breakfast. In your fridge there is bread, milk, juice, and jam. What will you open first?
The door!!! You parents are waiting outside!
What word would you use to describe a man who does not have all his fingers on one hand?
Normal. Most people only have half their fingers on one hand
Two is a duo, and three is a trio. So what do four and five make?
Nine
How many sides does a house have?
Two: an inside and an outside.
What two words, when combined, hold the most letters?
Post office
Can a man legally marry his widow's sister in Mississippi?
It's hard to marry anyone when you're dead.
Some months have eight letters in their name, whereas others have five. How many have three?
What is something you can hold without touching it?
Your Breath
If a plane crashes on the border between the United States and Canada, where do the bury the survivors?
Survivors aren't buried.
You see a truck driver going the wrong way down a one-way street. He passes at least 10 police but doesn’t get stopped. Why?
The truck driver was walking, not driving.
What are two things you can never eat for breakfast?
Lunch and Dinner
Ted is the father of Sam, but Sam is not the son of Ted. How is that possible?
Sam is not a boy
If you were in a race and you passed the person in third place, what place would you be in?
Third place
A boy kicks his soccer ball ten feet, then it comes right back to him on its own. How is this possible?
He kicked it in the air.
If there is a bowl with six apples and you take away four, how many do you have?
The four you took
What is always coming but never arrives?
Tomorrow