Unhelpful Thinking Traps (part 1)
Making a really big deal out of something small, or imagining the worse-case scenario, no matter how unlikely.
Ex. "If I fail this test, I won't graduate from school, and then I will be a total failure in life!!"
You get a stain on your shoes, and you think they are completely ruined and can't be worn anymore.
What is Blowing Things Up (Catastrophizing)
When you attach a negative label to yourself and think it applies to everything you do. Instead of acknowledging that you made a mistake, you allow the mistake the define you. This happens when we label others too.
"They are such an idiot - they don't know anything!"
"I am so stupid. Everything I say is dumb."
What is Labeling
"If I get a bad grade on my math test tomorrow, then I will never get into a good college!"
What is Blowing Things Up (Catastrophizing) or Fortune Telling.
"This is too hard! I won't ever be able to do this!"
Examples: "This is really hard."
"This is tough - but I know I can get through it."
"I don't understand this, yet."
What are 3 coping skills you can do to calm your body and mind?
What are: deep breathing, playing with a fidget, journaling, drawing, reading, yoga, going on a walk, playing with slime, talking to a parent or friend, taking a bath, listening to music, meditation, positive affirmations, baking, smelling something soothing, hugging, etc!
Downplaying the good things that have happened or that you have done for some reason or another.
Ex. "That doesn't count."
"They are just saying that to be nice, they don't really mean it."
What is Disqualifying the Positive
Making things about you when they are not. This includes blaming yourself for what is beyond your control, or taking things personally when they are not intended to be harmful to you.
Ex. When your basketball teams loses a game, you think it is entirely your fault.
"How dare that person walk in front of me – that was so disrespectful!" (When the person just didn’t notice you, and cutting you off was an honest mistake.)
What is Blaming (Personalization)
"She didn't say anything about my new haircut. She must think it is ugly!"
"Naomi didn't invite me to her birthday party. I bet it's because she thinks I am weird."
What is Mind Reading
"People should always be nice to me."
Examples: "I want people to be nice to me"
"I will do my best to surround myself with people who are nice and care about me"
"Not everyone is going to like me - and that's okay!"
Deep Breathing Practice: Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds. do this 3 times!
What is: practice!
This is when we pay more attention to the bad things (ex. our failures), and ignore the good things (ex. our successes).
Ex. You score two goals in your soccer game, but all you can think about is the shot you missed.
What is Mental Filter
This is when we have high expectations about how things should be done, and think in terms of "should", "must", "supposed to". We often feel disappointed, guilty, or frustrated when we or others don't live up to our high expectations.
Ex. "People should always be nice to me."
"I should've known better."
What are Should Statements
"My parents are arguing; it is most likely my fault."
"My friend is sad today. I probably did something to upset her."
What is Blaming (Personalization)
"She didn't say hi to me this morning, so she must be mad at me for something I did.
Examples: "There are many reasons why she did not say hi to me. It's probably not personal."
"I wonder why she didn't say hi to me. I will check in with her later and make sure everything is ok"
Grounding Technique: 5 Senses (name something you can see, feel/touch, hear, smell, and taste)
What is: say/show objects!
Seeing things in only two ways, either really good or really bad, and not seeing all the possible ways in-between (or the “grey”). Most of life is somewhere in the middle.
Ex. "If I don't get an A on every test, it means I have failed."
"Either I do it PERFECT or NOT AT ALL!"
What is All or Nothing thinking (Black and White thinking)
When you apply an experience from one event, to another. When we think this way, we assume that bad things will continue to happen over and over again. Red flag words: "never", "always", "nobody", "everybody", "everything", "nothing".
Ex. "I never get my way!"
"I always mess things up!"
What is Overgeneralizing
"I got one answer wrong on the test, and all I can think about is the mistake I made. I am so dumb!"
What is Mental Filter, Blowing Things Up (Catastrophizing), or Labeling
"Ugh, this is the worst day ever!! This week is going to be horrible!"
Examples: "Today was a hard day."
"This morning was rough, but I still have the rest of the day to turn it around!"
"Wow, today was really hard. Tomorrow is a new day."
Gratitude Exercise: Name 5 things you are thankful for
What is: name them!
Believing that if you "feel" something, it must be true. Only using your feelings for evidence.
Ex. "I feel guilty, so I must have done something bad."
"I feel anxious, so that means something bad might happen."
What is Feelings as Facts (Emotional Reasoning)
Jumping To Conclusions is another thinking trap, and there are two key types:
1) Believing others are thinking negatively about you without any real evidence.
Ex. “They are probably thinking about how weird I look.”
2) Attempting to predict the future, and thinking that it is going to turn out in a negative way
Ex. “I bet no one is going to come to my birthday party.”
What is 1) Mind Reading and, 2) Fortune Telling
"I feel ugly, so I must be ugly."
What is Feelings as Facts (Emotional Reasoning)
"I feel anxious, so there something must be wrong!"
Examples: "I am feeling anxious."
"I feel anxious. I am uncomfortable and nervous, but I can handle it."
"I am feel anxious. It is my choice what I do with my anxiety. Let me start by calming my breath."
Positive Affirmations: Say 3 positive affirmations out loud!
ex. "I am enough", "I am brave", "I am important", "Mistakes are how I grow", "I will be okay"
What is: say them out loud!