Grandpa went for a walk, and it started raining. He forgot to bring an umbrella and didn’t have a hat. When he got home, his clothes were soaking wet, but not a hair on his head was wet. How was this possible?
Grandpa is bald.
What can you hold in your right hand, but never in your left hand?
Your left hand.
Which word in the dictionary is always spelled incorrectly?
Incorrectly.
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s is really long. Michael J. Fox’s is short. Daffy Duck’s isn’t human. Madonna doesn’t have one, and I want yours. What is it?
Surname
On the first day of school, Aalia was kidnapped. Police suspect three male teachers and question them. They were asked what they were doing at 8:00 am.
Mr Walter: I was driving to school and I was late. Mr Thomas: I was checking English exam papers. Mr Benjamin: I was reading the newspaper.
The police arrested the kidnapper. How did the police find the kidnapper?
Mr Thomas as he cannot be checking exam papers on the first day of school.
Wednesday, Steve and Pam go to a restaurant to eat lunch. After eating lunch, they pay the bill. But Steve and Pam do not pay the bill. So…who does?
Their friend Wednesday.
You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
All the people on the boat are married.
I weigh nothing, but you can see me shift when I walk in a room. I shape people's perspectives and can cloud their judgment. You can't hold me, but I can hold you.
an emotion
He has married many but has never been married. Who is he?
A priest.
Bonus
300
Pronounced as 1 letter, And written with 3, 2 letters there are, and 2 only in me. I’m double, I’m single, I’m black blue, and gray, I’m read from both ends, and the same either way. What am I?
Eye
Lives without a body, hears without ears, speaks without a mouth, to which the air alone gives birth.
Echo.
How can a married couple who hate each other and are on the brink of divorce enjoy a romantic dinner and a bottle of wine at the same restaurant?
They go on different days.
One winter day, there was a man standing in the middle of someone’s front yard. The person stayed there for several weeks without moving and the owner of the yard didn’t mind. Eventually the man left. Who was he?
a snowman
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
the future
Bonus
400
What English word has three consecutive double letters?
Bookkeeper.
A woman shoots her husband, then holds him under water for five minutes. A little while later, they both go out and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
She shot her husband with a camera and then developed the photo.
A wealthy family lived in a big circular house. They had a maid, a butler, and a gardener. The parents were going to a party, so they tucked the younger kids into bed and kissed them goodnight and said goodbye, and kissed the older kids goodnight. When the parents came home, all the kids were gone—they had been kidnapped. The authorities ask the butler, maid, and gardener what they were doing at the time of the kidnapping. The butler says he was organizing the library, the maid says she was dusting the corners, and the gardener says he was watering the plants. Who’s lying and actually kidnapped the kids?
The maid—she said she was dusting the corners, but the family lives in a circular house, so there are no corners.
How can you drop a raw egg from a height onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
Concrete floors are very hard to crack.
How is seven different from the rest of the numbers between one and ten?
Seven has two syllables and the other numbers only have one syllable.
You play with me when you are single and bored and stuck with me once married. What am I?
Your ring.
A man entered his house and was about to hang up his coat when he heard his wife shout; “No John! Don’t do it!”
There was a shot and he could hear his wife fall down. When he entered the kitchen, he saw his wife and the gun lying on the floor. There was a police officer, a doctor, and a lawyer standing next to her. Who killed the man’s wife and how did the man know who it was?
The man knew it was the police officer, who had his name, John, on his badge.