BOOK
OF
MORMON
1
you are walking through Lidl and you grab the last yum yum at the exact second that someone directly to your right reaches for it as well. you look to our right and you see michelle obama. she notices your name tag and asks if you are a mormon. you explain that that is just a nickname and continue to tell her our full name. she asks if we still practice polygamy.
1
your looking at what is going to be your new tooth brush, when you notice a man who is wearing a different style outfit then you, it looks Italian. so you start up a conversation. after a few minutes he starts asking about your faith and asking if his is wrong and how we know we have the priesthood. you then instantly recognize this man as the pope. and he continues to ask about proper Authority.
1
you are with your progressing friend, shrek. he is on track to be baptized in his swamp, in 2 weeks to the day. the lesson goes very well and you and fiona feel the spirit strongly. the lesson is about over, and shrek recieves a phone call on his cellular. he answers, dragon relays the news that donkey has sadly passed away. shrek proceeds to mourn and shriek. it is scary. *do the roar* he starts to question if God is even real. he says why would God do this to him when he was about to be baptized? :(
2
Will Ferrell and mark Walberg meet you for a lesson at a day care. they are curious about what happen to there son's who have died at birth and were not baptized.
2
you go to get your haircut at the local turkish barber. you wait your turn and then sit in the chair. the barber comes over and notices your tag. he yells out "MORMON" the whole shop turns their attention torwards you *they all drop their scissors/brushes* and your companion. they run into the back and retrieve their "Watch Tower Bible Magazine" they continue to explain they are Jehovah Witnesses and are scared for us because they explain that only 144,000 of us will be saved. They ask if we know anything about this, and if its true.
2
your at your friends house teaching him and his bud, Karl. Karl is on date to be baptized in 3 weeks, but Jimmy is a little hesitant. he is feeling like this might not be the way. but that science proves everything.
3
You are on a jog through the jungle, you see a man in the distance. you slowly approach him and attempt to GQ him. You then recognize you are taking to Kanye West himself. He proceeds to say he doesn't need your church because he already has a personal relationship with God through his gospel albums and he explains that he believs he is god himself.
3
you are walking into a pub for some grub, but you can't stop your bud, from running into someone else hubb. so you start to talk about the Trubs. and how they were completely not W's. " so you want to take about the Trubs, then we will get some Grub and then, maybe hug."
you start to talk about how we know God and Jesus are two different beings and he gets super confused.
3
You have been reassigned to serve in south Africa Mission due to ongoing political issues here in Scotland, you are serving in Angus Klintworths home ward. you go out to GQ. as you are on your way through through the jungle, you see something out of the corner of your eye. it is Harambe. you are shocked since you thought he had been killed. you ask how he is alive. he goes onto explain he faked his death so he could escape back to the gorilla motherland and return to live with his gorilla family. he continues to explain that ever since he faked his death, he had pondered the question of where would he have gone if he actually died? he also tells you he used to investigate the church when he was living in Cincinnati. The missionaries often approached his cage on their Pday's, but they only shared simple truths with him that he found enjoyable. 