The Family Archives
In tennis, Bob's advice was to...
"hit it where they ain't"
This family member’s weekly ritual involves a 2:1 ratio: spending 8 hours behind the wheel of an SUV just to spend 8 hours sliding down a mountain
Parker
The year the "youngest" grandchild will finally hit the big 3-0.
2032
the person most likely to disappear into a random airport hub while trying to reach a destination three states away
Daniel
Move over, Ancestry.com—this dedicated family member spent countless hours compiling every birth, marriage, and "scandalous" anecdote into a physical book that chronicles our entire lineage.
Manolo
703 Powder Horn Circle
After decades of claiming this sport was "too dangerous", this family member finally traded their cleats for a racket and is now dodging 100 mph "yellow projectiles" for fun.
Bobby
This is the specific number of years that separate the first and last of Ama’s grandchildren
10 years
the person who takes the etiquette so seriously they’ll shush a baby in a grocery store for making noise during their "service motion
Frank
While other families settle for a "dog paddle," this aquatic authority is the reason every child and grandchild in the lineage possesses a flawless flip-turn and a stroke so perfect it would make Michael Phelps weep.
Bob
This nine-word phrase was coined the moment Rex decided a stuffed animal was actually his "significant other," resulting in a display of affection that left the entire living room in stunned silence.
"No Rexy, its a toy, you play with it!"
the "bloody massacre" that occurred on one family vacation in
the year of Frank & Ney's wedding?
1986
the individual who demands high-definition photos of their pasta but has low-definition coordination after a drink
Brittany
Long before Rex was making headlines with his toys, this original family dog held the title of "First Canine" and remains the gold standard for all four-legged members of the lineage.
What foods did Bob not like?
Radishes and beets
the year of the last family vacation to Vienna
2018
Born in the same year and following the same academic timeline, these two male cousins both tossed their caps and received their college diplomas in this recent calendar year.
2022
the man whose greatest retirement achievement isn't his 401k, but knowing exactly which local diners offer 15% off before 4:00 PM
Kenny
This person's departure from Ama's house became a "smash hit" when they failed to clear the driveway and successfully "rearranged" the bumper of Rhonda’s parked car.
Sal
To sweep this high-stakes board, you must successfully recite the middle name of every single one of the "Magnificent Seven" grandchildren.
Elizabeth, Michael, Robert, William, Robert, James, Elizabeth
The year of this "unsupervised" international excursion to Ecuador, the group’s safety and direction were placed in the hands of 8-year-olds who were leading the charge on high-speed ziplines.
2008
The year and location where Ama and Bob get married?
Quito Ecuador
April 18, 1959
the one child whose presence magically lowers Ama’s blood pressure
Ama has the correct answer or Rex
This family member is the original linguistic genius who coined the term "Chuck-a-Luckas," a nickname used to describe this specific group of people within the family.