Imposter Syndrome
T/F: Men & underrepresented groups are more likely to experience imposter syndrome.
False, its women
What is a value? (definition)
have each member name 1 value they hold
Beliefs that define what is most important to you and guide your life choices.
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Give an example of "blowing things up"
you get a stain on your new shoes and think they are ruined and you cannot wear them anymore
The 4 horsemen are behaviors that...
escalate conflict and damage a relationship. Over time, these harmful behaviors may become a normal part of communication between partners.
Love languages are...
the ways people show and receive love
What are 3 risk factors for imposter syndrome?
toxic or hostile environment
experiencing discrimination or bias
first in family to take on a specific role
low self-esteem or self-defeating thoughts
achievement-oriented childhood
defining success based on job role
perfectionist tendencies
high need for external validation
What are the traits of Aggressive communication?
· Easily frustrated
· Speaks in a loud or overbearing way
· Unwilling to compromise
· Use of criticism, humiliation, and domination
· Frequently interrupts or does not listen
· Disrespectful toward others
what fair fighting rule encourages you to use "I" Statements?
Express your feelings with words.
What does stonewalling look like?
Emotionally withdrawing, shutting down, or going silent during important discussions.
• Often a response to feeling overwhelmed. • Used to avoid difficult discussions or problems. • Underlying problems go unresolved
Name all of the love languages
Words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, gifts, acts of service
What are consequences of imposter syndrome?
depression, anxiety, loss of confidence, social isolation, burnout, low self esteem, missed opportunities, reduced productivity.
What are the 3 types of communication?
Passive, Aggressive, Assertive
What are 3 fair fighting rules?
Before you begin, ask yourself why you feel upset.
Discuss one topic at a time.
No degrading language.
Express your feelings with words.
Take turns speaking.
No stonewalling.
No yelling.
Take a time-out if things get too heated
Attempt to come to a compromise or an understanding
How do you correct defenesiveness? Also, give an example using a sentence.
Own up to your behavior without blaming others.
• Avoid taking feedback personally. • Use feedback as an opportunity to improve. • Show remorse and apologize.
“I shouldn't have raised my voice. I’m sorry."
What actions are appreciated by someone whose love language is words of affirmation?
stating feelings, giving encouragement, giving compliments, sharing positive thoughts, texts/notes
What traits are common with imposter syndrome?
consistently feeling out of place or unworthy
hiding deficits rather than addressing them
dreading being “found out” as a fraud
having unrealistically high standards
dwelling on negative feedback while ignoring praise & achievements
What type of communication does the person prioritize others?
passive
"Should" statements mean believing....and what is an example?
things have to be a certain way....people should always be nice to me
What are the 4 antidotes?
Gentle start up, Take responsibility, Share fondness/admiration, Use self-soothing
What are some actions to take if your partners love language is acts of service?
Make them a meal, help with chores, provide for family, care for children
Imposter syndrome refers to...
long-lasting feelings of unworthiness that don’t match up with the facts or others’ perceptions. The key feature of imposter syndrome is a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud.
Scenario: Your boss asked you to stay late, while everyone else leaves. You always stay late, and tonight you have plans.
Please give an assertive response
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What are the different thinking errors?
Should statements, feelings as facts, self-blaming, setting the bar too high, negative labeling, mind reading, fortune telling, blowing things up, and ignoring the good
What are the 4 different horsemen?
Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling
What are things to avoid if your partners love language is quality time?
prolonged periods not spent together, distractions when spending time together