Have you been listening?
What does Self-Soothing ask you to do? Please give an example
Use relaxation techniques to calm down and stay present with your partner.
• Agree to pause the conversation briefly.
• Use deep breathing.
• Use progressive muscle relaxation (PMR).
The 4 horsemen are behaviors that...
escalate conflict and damage a relationship. Over time, these harmful behaviors may become a normal part of communication between partners.
Gaslighting is...
a type of manipulation that causes a person to doubt their own beliefs, sanity, or memory.
Give an example of Opposite action for angry
instead of fighting/yelling/arguing --> talk quietly and behave politely
Please give an example of projection
“Maybe you’re the one who’s hiding something.”
“Well, I think you’re lying to me.”
How do you correct defensiveness? Also, give an example using a sentence.
Own up to your behavior without blaming others.
• Avoid taking feedback personally. • Use feedback as an opportunity to improve. • Show remorse and apologize.
“I shouldn't have raised my voice. I’m sorry."
Please give an example of sabotage
Throwing away the victim’s mail so they can’t pay a bill on time.
Damaging the victim’s car so they cannot leave the house.
Developing psychological flexibility helps to lead to....
greater resilience, emotional tolerance, and overall well-being
How do you combat contempt? And what is 1 example?
Show fondness and admiration
• Show affection.
• Recognize your partner’s strengths.
• Give compliments.
What are the 4 antidotes?
Gentle start up, Take responsibility, Share fondness/admiration, Use self-soothing
Please give an example of put-downs
“You’re an idiot. You have no clue what you’re saying.”
“You sound really crazy when you talk like that.”
What are the 4 emotional regulation skills we discussed?
Opposite action, PLEASE, Check the facts and paying attention to positive events.
What is psychological flexibility?
the ability to adapt to life’s difficulties while remaining true to one’s values.
What does stonewalling look like?
Emotionally withdrawing, shutting down, or going silent during important discussions.
• Often a response to feeling overwhelmed. • Used to avoid difficult discussions or problems. • Underlying problems go unresolved
What are 5 of the green flags we discussed?
Appreciation
Balance
Commitment
Commonality
Conflict resolution
Effective communication
Empathy
Honesty
Independence
Intimacy
Safety
Self-Confidence
What does PLEASE stand for?
PL- Treat Physical Illness
E- eat healthy
A- avoid mood altering drugs
S- Sleep well
E- Exercise
In regards to Green Flags, what does Safety entail?
You respect your partner’s boundaries. You feel safe physically, intellectually (expressing thoughts), and emotionally (expressing feelings).
What are the 4 different horsemen?
Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling
What are the different types of gaslighting?
Denial
Distraction
Ignoring/Avoiding
Minimalization/Trivialization
Projection
Put Downs
Sabotage
Threats
What are the 6 components of psychological flexibility?
Acceptance, being present, values clarification, commitment to values enactment, self as context (awareness), defusion (distance between awareness and thoughts)