Have you been listening?
The enabler engages in co-dependent behaviors because they feel _______________
shame for the behavior of the addict.
How do you practice "put your thoughts on a cloud"
Imagine placing your thoughts on clouds high in the sky. Watch as the clouds slowly drift away. Remind yourself that thoughts—just like clouds— have no actual substance as they come and go
T/F: Co-dependency only happens in romantic relationships
False: Codependency can occur in virtually any relationship—with your parents, children, spouse, friends, even co-workers.
What type of skill is emotion regulation?
DBT
How do you make an egg-roll?
you push it
Name 1 thing each that is in your control (all must be different)
----
Name the 3 times you can use thought defusion
You feel triggered. − Your thoughts are one-sided. − You’re lost in thought.
What do families/enablers have in a co-dependent relationship? (what would be taken away from the co-dependent family if someone decided to get sober?)
Purpose
Give an example of Opposite action for angry
instead of fighting/yelling/arguing --> talk quietly and behave politely
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo drizzle
_____ is a core component of codependency.
Low self-worth
How do you practice "Screen your thoughts"
Imagine your thoughts projected onto a large movie screen. Sit in the back row and watch the scenes unfold. Can you just observe the movie without getting lost in it?
Name 4 signs you are in a co-dependent relationship
You’re overly concerned about what the other person is doing, thinking, and feeling—and you want to fix or rescue them from their problems. You worry that if you don’t take care of them, something bad will happen.
Your relationship is consistently one-sided; one person is hardworking and responsible and the other is allowed to be irresponsible or avoid the consequences of their actions. You may enable and make excuses for the other person’s poor choices.
You sacrifice yourself to make the other person happy. This can include your health, time, energy, money, values, goals, or friendships. Your life revolves around the other person—making them happy, taking care of them, doing what they want to do.
You “walk on eggshells” around the other person, afraid of doing or saying something that will displease or anger them. As a result, you may not express your opinions, share your feelings, or ask for what you want. And, to avoid conflict, you may say yes to things that you don’t want to do or that don’t align with your values or goals.
You act like a martyr, taking care of everyone and everything, but resentful that no one helps or seems to care for you.
Your need to fix or rescue becomes controlling. You attempt to control the other person’s behavior through criticism, ultimatums, nagging, or giving unsolicited advice.
You continue the relationship even after the other person has repeatedly hurt you (physically, emotionally, financially, etc.).
You spend more time taking care of others than taking care of yourself. And when you do something for yourself, like rest, enjoy a hobby, or practice self-care, you feel guilty or selfish.
You’re afraid of being rejected, criticized, or abandoned.
You often feel resentful, frustrated, taken advantage of, or unfulfilled.
What does PLEASE stand for?
PL- Treat Physical Illness
E- eat healthy
A- avoid mood altering drugs
S- Sleep well
E- Exercise
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
Thought defusion is a _______technique
cognitive distancing
Thought defusion skills work by __________shifting attention from the________ of thoughts to the ________ loosening the hold thoughts have over you.
content , process of thinking
What are 2 examples of enabling behaviors?
Taking over the responsibilities of the user
Making excuses or covering up errors and accidents for the user
Going along with the reasons why the addict is using substances
Helping the user get out of financial difficulty related to substance abuse
Cleaning up after the user
What are the 3 steps in "Check the facts"
What triggered my emotion?
What interpretations or assumptions am I making about the event?
Do my emotions and its intensity match the facts of the situation? or does it just match the assumptions of the situation?
What did 0 say to 8?
Nice Belt
What is worrying about things outside of our control compared to?
a rocking chair
Name the 8 Defusion techniques
Put Your Thoughts on Clouds
Use a Silly Voice
File Your Thoughts Away
Name the Story
Click the “X” Button
Screen Your Thoughts
Say “I’m Having the Thought That…”
Zoom Out
Name 4 symptoms of co-dependency
Low self-esteem
People-pleasing
Poor boundaries
Care-taking
Control
Dysfunctional communication
Dependency
Intimacy issues
Painful emotions
What are the 4 emotion regulation skills we discussed?
Opposite action, check the facts, PLEASE, Paying attention to positive events
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent