Have you been listening?
The 4 horsemen are behaviors that...
escalate conflict and damage a relationship.
What are 2 ways to "reinforce" when someone responds well to you?
Hug them, say thank you, kind gesture, smiling
Scenario: A friend asks to borrow your car. This will be a big inconvenience for you.
Give an aggressive response
No way! Why would I let you borrow my car? You’re crazy to even ask.
expressing yourself clearly and without ambiguity so there is no doubt about what you want.
How many love languages are there?
5
What is stonewalling?
Emotionally withdrawing, shutting down, or going silent during important discussions.
What are the 4 antidotes?
Gentle start up, Take responsibility, Share fondness/admiration, Use self-soothing
What type of communication does the person prioritize others?
Passive
What are 4 things that fall into "what to do" to communicate boundaries?
Use Confident Body Language
Be Respectful
Plan Ahead
Compromise
What actions are appreciated by someone whose love language is words of affirmation?
stating feelings, giving encouragement, giving compliments, sharing positive thoughts, texts/notes
Have each person on your team give an "I" statement using the correct format.
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How do you correct defenesiveness? Also, give an example using a sentence.
Own up to your behavior without blaming others.
• Avoid taking feedback personally. • Use feedback as an opportunity to improve. • Show remorse and apologize.
“I shouldn't have raised my voice. I’m sorry.
Scenario: Your boss asked you to stay late, while everyone else leaves. You always stay late, and tonight you have plans.
Please give an assertive response
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What should boundaries be based on?
your values, or the things that are important to you
What are some actions to take if your partners love language is acts of service?
Make them a meal, help with chores, provide for family, care for children
What are 4 traits of assertive communication?
· Listens without interruption
· Clearly states needs and wants
· Willing to compromise
· Stands up for own rights
· Confident tone / body language
· Good eye contact
What are the 4 different horsemen?
Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling
Name 3 traits of aggressive communication
easily frustrated, speaks loud or overbearingly, unwilling to compromise, use of criticism/humiliation and domination, frequently interrupts or does not listen, and disrespectful towards others.
What are 3 phrases you can use to communicate you do not want to do/like something?
“I’m not comfortable with this”
“Please don’t do that”
“Not at this time”
“I can’t do that for you”
“This doesn’t work for me”
“I’ve decided not to”
“This is not acceptable”
“I’m drawing the line at ___”
“I don’t want to do that”
What are things to avoid if your partners love language is quality time?
prolonged periods not spent together, distractions when spending time together
What are 1 thing to avoid if your partners love language is acts of service?
lacking on follow through on small and large tasks
What does DEARMAN stand for?
Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindfulness, Appear Confident, Negotiate
What are the 3 types of communication?
Passive, Aggressive, Assertive
Personal Boundaries are....
the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships.
Name all of the love languages
Words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, gifts, acts of service