comedy 1
how many fingers do mickey mouse have
four on each hand
Three different doctors said that Paul is their brother yet Paul claims he has no brothers. Who is lying?
No one is lying because the three doctors are Paul’s sisters.
what does a storm cloud wear under his clothes?
What type of music do rabbits listen to?
Answer: Hip hop!!!!!
I have keys, but no locks and space, and no rooms. You can enter, but you can’t go outside. What am I?
A keyboard.
why can't dinosaurs talk
because there dead
What English word has three consecutive double letters?
Answer: Bookkeeper.
What gets smaller every time it takes a bath?
Answer: A bar of soap
. Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents!
First you eat me, then you get eaten. What am I?
A fishhook.
did you hear about the polite clown
it was a nice jester
A girl has as many brothers as sisters, but each brother has only half as many brothers as sisters. How many brothers and sisters are there in the family?
Answer: Four sisters and three brothers.
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
Answer: A carrot.
Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
He got fired.
You see a boat filled with people. It has not sunk, but when you look again you don’t see a single person on the boat. Why?
All the people were married.
what do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
a can't opener
What can travel all around the world without leaving its corner?
Answer: A stamp.
What tastes better than it smells?
Answer: Your tongue.
how many hands does an octopus have
eight limbs
I come from a mine and get surrounded by wood always. Everyone uses me. What am I?
Pencil lead.
how do you identify a dogwood tree?
by its bark!!!!!!
One knight, a ninja, and a pirate were on a ship. The ship began to sink. The ninja and the pirate jumped into a lifeboat before the ship went underwater. Who died?
Answer: The knight.
How does a bee get to school?
Answer: On a buzz!
. Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands.
What can you hold in your right hand, but never in your left hand?
Your left hand.