Label Expected or Unexpected
You see a peer struggling to open their water bottle. You reach over and open it for them without asking. Is this an expected or unexpected behavior?
Unexpected: Touching or taking their things without permission.
The intention is good, but consent and boundaries matter.
A classmate shows you a drawing they worked hard on and asks, “Do you like it?” You don’t actually like it. Say something expected.
e.g., “You worked hard on this! I like the colors.”
Why it's tricky: Honesty is good, but blunt honesty can hurt feelings.
During group work, your group is moving slowly. You do most of the project yourself so it gets done correctly. Why is this an unexpected behavior?
Unexpected: Taking control and leaving others out
Why it's tricky: Doing the work “right” feels helpful, but teamwork requires shared effort.
The teacher said, “Only pencils on your desk.” A classmate has a pen. You loudly say, "You are supposed to have a pencil, not a pen." Is this expected or unexpected?
Unexpected: Calling them out publicly or demanding rule-following
Why it's tricky: The rule matters, but tattling or policing peers creates tension.
A friend looks upset at lunch. You’re not sure whether they want company or to be left alone. What is something expected that you can say or do?
Expected: Brief check-in (“You okay? Want company or space?”)
During a conversation, someone jokes about being slow at math. You add, “Yeah, you’re SO bad at math!” Is this expected or unexpected?
Unexpected: Turning someone’s self-jokes into teasing them.
Why it's tricky: Jokes blur the line between playful and hurtful.