General Merriment
Snowman Jokes
Santa Jokes
General Merriment II
Christmas Tree Jokes
100
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet.
100
Where do snowmen keep their money?
In a snowbank.
100
What does Santa use when he's having trouble walking?
A candy cane.
100
Why do mummies like Christmas presents?
Because of all the wrapping.
100
How are Christmas trees like hit movies?
They both have stars.
200
What often wears a skirt but isn't a person or a toy?
A Christmas tree
200
What do snowmen call their kids?
Chill-dren.
200
Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs and cats?
Santa Paws. (Or, Santa Claws)
200
If you see a vampire when it's snowing, what will you get?
Frostbite.
200
What is a Christmas tree's favorite candy?
Orna-mints.
300
What kind of egg can you drink?
Eggnog.
300
What did the snowman's girlfriend do when she was mad at him?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
300
Which one of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Rude-olph.
300
What did the Christmas tree say to the Christmas stocking?
Aren’t you tired of just hanging around?
300
Why can't Christmas trees give people shots?
They always drop their needles.
400
You can hold this and even shake it, but it's easy to break. It has lots of snow, but it’s all fake! What is it?
A snow globe.
400
What is a snowman's favorite breakfast food?
Frosted Flakes.
400
Who says, “Oh, Oh, Oh”?
Santa walking backwards.
400
What did the Christmas elf say to his girlfriend?
I want to merry you.
400
What do you get when a Christmas tree and an apple tree have a baby?
A pineapple.
500
What does a reindeer say before he tells a good joke?
"This one's going to sleigh you!"
500
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle.
500
What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
500
On Christmas Eve, how do kids know that Santa is in the room?
They can sense his presents. ("presence")
500
What did one Christmas tree say to another that was in a bad mood?
Lighten up!