"I" Statements
Your friend keeps yelling at you to get their way.
"I" feel upset when you yell at me because it makes me feel like my opinion doesn't matter.
"I" feel frustrated when you yell at me to get your way.
then-can we talk about it calmly please.
What is the first thing you should do when you feel yourself getting angry during a conflict?
Take a deep breath; try to stay calm; walk away to calm down if needed; think before you act.
Your friend says something that hurts your feelings. What is the BEST way to respond?
-Calmly tell them how they made you feel
-"I" statement
-Ask them if you did something to upset them?
True/False: I can control other people's behavior?
False: You can only control your own
What can you say if your classmates ask you where you've been?
Honest- I was having some trouble and had to go to another school for a bit.
Vague- Oh, you know, I was around.
Funny- I went to clown school, but now I'm back!
You told your friend who you have a crush on _____ and they tell your crush.
"I" feel really hurt/embarrassed that you told _____I like them. I trusted you, and thought you would respect my privacy.
What should you do if a conflict starts to get physical?
Walk away and get help from an adult.
What are two UNhelpful ways to communicate when you disagree with someone?
-Yell at them; Spread rumors about them; Physically trying to hurt them; Cursing
True/False: I can control the thoughts of others.
False: I can only control my own thoughts. What other people think of me is none of my business.
If you feel nervous about going back to your base school, what can you do?
Talk to a trusted adult; make a plan about how you will respond to students & teachers; Get a good night's rest; Practice some deep breathing and think about the positives (I get to see my friends, teachers I may have missed, play a sport/activity etc.)
You let your friend borrow your favorite ______ and they lose it.
"I" feel sad/disappointed/upset that you lost my favorite ______. I know it was an accident, but it would mean a lot to me if you helped me look for it or replace it.
(consider not lending out things that are important to you in the future.)
Name two helpful steps in resolving conflict.
-Active listening; Take turns talking; Remain Calm; Do not yell/scream; Do not curse or blame
What are two helpful communication techniques when you do not agree with someone?
-Listen
-Take turns talking
-Talk in a calm tone of voice
-Try to understand where the other person is coming from
True/False: I can control my feelings.
True! Sometimes it is hard, but if you work on changing your thoughts, it can impact how you feel about yourself and others.
How can you show your teachers that you are ready to be back at school? That you want a fresh start?
Pay attention in class; Do your work; Talk to the teachers in a respectful way (don't talk back); Be on time for every class; Ask for help when you do not understand something; Attend school; Positive attitude; make good choices
You are lost in class and cannot figure out how to do the work.
"I" feel overwhelmed/confused/lost in class. Is there a time when I can come to you for additional help?
When listening during a conflict/disagreement, what should you focus on?
Understanding the other person's point of view; remaining calm.
What should you do if someone spreads a rumor about you or a friend?
Try not to react right away (oftentimes, rumors fizzle out quickly); Do not spread it or talk about it; Talk to the person who started it ("I" statements); Tell a trusted adult.
True/False: I can control how I react?
True! How you react to any situation is entirely in your hands! However, we all make mistakes sometimes. If you overreact, own it and apologize.
What should you do if there are kids who are trying to get you to skip class/school, do something illegal, or something you know will get you into trouble?
Tell them, "no way, I'm not getting into trouble again"; Talk to a trusted adult at school or home; join an afterschool club that you've never tried, maybe you'll meet new friends.
You are blamed for something you did not do.
I feel upset when I’m blamed for something I didn’t do because it makes me feel misunderstood. I would appreciate it if you could listen to my explanation before making a decision.
What is a reason to involve an adult/school staff in a conflict?
-The conflict is serious and you need help/advice in resolving it. (maybe unsure)
-You are afraid it is getting out of control and someone may get hurt.
-You are aware of someone potentially hurting themselves or someone else.
Why is it important to use "I" statements during a disagreement?
-To express your feelings without blaming.
-To open up dialogue so that you can both understand each other and move on.
True/False: If I make a mistake or a bad decision, I am a bad person.
FALSE! Everyone makes mistakes and bad decisions sometimes. It is how we learn! The key is to recognize it, own it and apologize if necessary. And do not repeat it.
What strategies can you use if you start to feel frustrated in class?
Take a deep breath; Doodle; Draw a picture; Ask the teacher if you could take a quick break/see the counselor/trusted adult at school; See the teacher at the end of class if you need more help.