How You Remind Me ...
Jobs That Sound Made Up
Corporate Buzzwords & Other Crimes
Food, Fraud & Family Trauma
Songs Everyone Knows ... But No One Understands
67
This Nickelback song asked us all to look at a photograph, as though the band had just discovered both memories and printing technology.
What is Photograph?
67
This person tastes food and wine together for a living, which sounds suspiciously like someone turned "date night" into a profession.
What is a sommelier?
67
This meaningless phrase means "let's discuss this later" but dressed itself up in a blazer and called itself strategy.
What is "circle back"?
67
This jiggly canned side dish appears at holiday dinners every year, despite it looking like it was engineered by a bored chemist with a grudge (and maybe three people actually want it there ...).
What is cranberry sauce?
67
This hit by The Police is widely mistaken for a love song, even though it's really just musical stalking with an excellent production value.
What is Every Breath You Take?
255
This 2005 song promised luxury, fame, and "a bathroom I can play baseball in," which remains one of rock's most aggressively specific status symbols.
What is Rockstar?
255
This professional listens to people snore in a lab and turns it into medical data, somehow making "watching strangers sleep" a legitimate career and not a prison sentence.
What is a sleep technician?
(polysomnographic technologist)
255
This buzzword means "working together," though in practice it usually means six people on a Zoom call achieving absolutely nothing as a team.
What is "synergy"?
255
This layered pasta dish is a beloved Italian favourite and also the leading cause of passive-aggressive arguments (and broken wooden spoons) over who took "too big a piece" ... aka finding literally anything to fight about.
What is lasagna?
255
This anthem is half motivational speech, half nervous breakdown, and forever linked to the phrase "mom's spaghetti," which was NOT supposed to be the takeaway.
What is Lose Yourself?
432
Chad Kroeger once married this Canadian pop star, creating a union that absolutely nobody had on their bingo card.
Who is Avril Lavigne?
432
This professional creates smells for perfumes, candles, and luxury products, meaning their entire career is based on having a more useful nose than the rest of us.
What is a perfumer?
432
This corporate phrase means "we have no idea what we're doing, but we'd like everyone to panic in an organized way."
What is "pivot"?
432
This luxury fungus can cost a fortune, smells like wealth and dirt had a baby, and makes rich people act like shaved garnish is an entire personality.
What is truffle?
432
This masterpiece has millions of people screaming about murder and Galileo with the confidence of scholars and the understanding of concussed parrots.
What is Bohemian Rhapsody?
561
Nickelback's name came from Mike Kroeger's time working at this coffee chain, where "here's your nickel back" became unexpectedly career-defining.
What is Starbucks?.
561
This specialist studies handwriting, signatures, and documents, basically making them Sherlock Holmes for suspicious penmanship.
What is a graphologist?
(or forensic document examiner)
561
This phrase means "I am about to assign you more work," but wants you to feel inspired instead of suspicious.
What is "let's leverage your strengths?"
What is "leverage"?
561
This boxed 'pasta' brand became a symbol of broke survival, student budgeting, Steve's single, lonely Friday nights, and pretending fluorescent orange is a natural cheese colour.
What is Kraft Dinner?
What is Kraft mac & cheese?
561
This 1998 Goo Goo Dolls hit sounds romantic, but half the lyrics feel like they were written by a man staring at rain on a window for six hours.
What is Iris?
677
Chad Kroeger and his brother Mike are from this middle of nowhere Alberta city, which Nickelback fans may consider sacred ground.
What is Hanna, AB?
677
This person gets paid to name paint colours, nail polish hades, and menu items ... which is how society ended up with things like "Moonlit Taupe" and "Tuscan Sunset Chicken."
What is a copywriter?
677
This phrase means "we are about to waste half your afternoon," and is usually followed by 47 slides and one guy saying "next slide" like he discovered fire.
What is "touch base?"
What is "quick sync"?
677
It's a poison, favored by schemers, royals, and anyone who thought dinner should come with a plot twist.
What is arsenic?
677
People scream every word of this Foster the People song, apparently unbothered by the fact that is about a disturbed kid planning violence.
What is Pumped Up Kicks?