“Swollen water buffalo or 300lb canary”
What does he call himself?
Looking through the bars thinking how bored he was
What is laying in his crib?
The blacksmith shop
What is where he worked in Nauvoo?
“This meal would cost you 12 bucks a plate in town”
What does he say after every Sunday dinner?
He got mad at Darci for burning this
What is his steak?
What he does while saying I love and appreciate you
What is pats you on the back?
Takes 15 minutes to take his turn
What is playing games with him?
Asked to speak to the store manager of this department on vacations
What is the produce department?
A half-eaten bucket of popcorn
What does he pick up off the floor at a movie theater and eat?
What are her raspberry bushes?
What he says when he kicks you out of the car for fighting
“If you get tired of walking, run awhile”
What he used to cover his not-fully-dressed self with when unexpected company stopped by
What is a couch cushion?
“Go-ie to-ie the field-ie” (loudly, slowly, while waving his arms)
What did he tell the Mexican farm workers who didn’t speak English?
He made a sandwich from this thinking it was tuna
What is cat food?
Boiling water from an exploding farm pump caused this
What are third degree burns?
The political party “that would do what the Savior would do”
What are the Democrats?
One brown shoe and one black shoe
What did he wear to church one Sunday?
Where he goes once a year to remind himself how much he hates it
What is the rodeo?
An orange pop
What was he drinking in the locker room after a high school basketball game?
What he drop kicked out the front door and across the front lawn
What is Missy, the dog?
“I voted for him twice and have been repenting ever since”
Who is Ronald Reagan?
The gift of a weed-eater
What did he give to Kathy for their 20 year wedding anniversary?
Where he stopped off after church to buy candy
What is the Oakley Tavern?
A snack that was popular during the Great Depression that only he eats
What is bread and milk?
Where he brought a Doberman Pinscher home from
What is home-teaching?