Development
What is something that is sure to make you mad?
The emotional centers of the brain grow rapidly in adolescence
If you had to teach a class on being a good listener, what would be some tips you include?
Active listening is engaging with the conversation with more senses to pay better attention and demonstrate understanding
If you could have any animal as a motivational coach, which animal would it be and why?
Teens often want support that works with their goals offering firm support through language that builds connection instead of being told.
What is one song that makes you feel better when upset?
Suppressing emotions can lead to long term difficulties. Music is one of the few ways we can change our mood in a healthy way.
What is one expectation that is different in your family than most of your friends’ families?
Different cultures and values have a large impact on how teens are expected to act and contribute. These invisible expectations affect how teens interact with their communities.
How would you want your friend to respond when you share something exciting with them?
Using reflection and validation can increase the connection with the speaker and can demonstrate we understand what they are saying.
What would happen if there were no rules in a game you were playing? Do you have friends that often cheat in games?
Structure helps teens reduce stress while developing life essential skills in a stable environment and increases productivity by having less details to remember.
What is one thing you do to calm yourself down when upset?
No coping skill works in all situations. Having different skills for levels and types of distress gives teens a diverse toolbox.
What is a way that you show independence that no one notices?
Adolescence is a where youth start to learn and practice independence, create an identity, an prepare to separate from parents.
What is one thing you wish adults did better to communicate with you?
Connecting language and mutual problem solving can be important at this age.
What is something you accomplished recently that you were proud of? Did anyone notice?
Many studies show that praising positive behavior is a better motivator than criticizing negative behavior. Honest praise builds confidence and reminds teens their efforts are noticed.
If you could make a superhero power to regulate emotions, what would it be?
The emotion centers of the brain mature faster than the regulation centers creating the impression that teens are moody. The control centers continue to grow until the late 20s leading teens to have large reactions and greater risk-taking.
What's one challenge you've faced that you're proud of overcoming, and how did it help you grow?
Middle schoolers are now starting to develop brain changes for complex thinking, emotional control, and social skills. These skills continue to develop rapidly until the late 20s
Who would you talk to if you had a serious or embarrassing problem?
Many adolescents and teens report not talking to parents about problems because they fear it will turn into judgement or getting in trouble.
Think of a time when you overcame a big challenge. What motivated you to keep going even when it was tough?
Extrinsic motivation is based on consequences. Intrinsic motivation is internally motivated and a more effective motivator
Can you describe a time you felt completely focused? How did you feel? How did it affect the activity?
Mindfulness is the focus on present moment and is one of the best ways to reduce stress and increase the ability to regulate long term.
BONUS
What advice would you give your younger self. Practice how you would give it now.
Mini lessons are easier for our brains to digest than large lectures.
BONUS
Practice setting a boundary with a friend who asked you to do something you don’t agree with
Assertive communication is clearly stating the need or objective of the conversation without aggression.
BONUS
Create a special motto or slogan you can use to keep yourself motivated
Positive affirmations can be used to build motivation by increasing focus and positive beliefs of self-sufficiency.
BONUS
Your friend just had a terrible break-up and is really upset. Practice what you could say to calm them down.
While the brain is still developing, teens still need additional help regulating emotions when upset.