Baby
A rooster laid an egg on top of the barn roof. Which way did it roll?
It didn’t roll – since when did roosters start laying eggs?
Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Mt. Everest. It was still the highest in the world. It just had not been discovered yet!
Which is heavier? A pound of feathers or a pound of rocks?
Neither. Both weigh a pound!
What is full of holes but can still hold water?
A sponge
What goes up but never ever comes down?
Your age.
A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors?
You do not bury the SURVIVORS!
What can you hold without ever touching or using your hands?
Your breath!
If you have a bowl with six apples and you take away four, how many do you have?
The 4 you took away
If Mr Smith’s peacock lays an egg in Mr Jones’ yard, who owns the egg?
Peacocks don’t lay eggs, just peahens.
There was an airplane crash, every single person on board died, but yet two people survived. How is this possible?
The two were married.
What goes up and down, but still remains in the same place?
Stairs!
Imagine that you are in a boat, in the middle of the sea. Suddenly, you are surrounded by hungry sharks, just waiting to feed on you. How can you put an end to this?
Stop imagining!
An electric train is moving north at 100mph and a wind is blowing to the west at 10mph. Which way does the smoke blow?
There is no smoke with an electric train.
What goes up and never comes down?
Age!
Jimmy’s mother had four children. She named the first Monday. She named the second Tuesday, and she named the third Wednesday. What is the name of the fourth child?
Jimmy, because Jimmy’s mother had four children!
You are driving a bus. At the first stop, two women get on. The second stop, three men get on and one woman gets off. At the third stop, three kids and their mom get on, and a man gets off. The bus is grey, and it is raining outside. What color is the bus driver’s hair?
Whatever color your hair is! Remember, you are the bus driver!
In a year, there are 12 months. Seven months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?
They all do.
There are three houses. One is red, one is blue, and one is white. If the red house is to the left of the house in the middle, and the blue house is to the right to the house in the middle, where is the white house?
In Washington, D.C.!
You are in a cabin and it is pitch black. You have one match on you. Which do you light first, the newspaper, the lamp, the candle, or the fire?
You light the match first!
Mike is a butcher. He is 5’10” tall. What does he weigh?
Meat