Cooperation and Encouragement
What is something you could say to your teen for putting away the groceries with out being asked?
'Thanks for putting away the groceries, I really appreciated it.'
'I really appreciate it when you're being helpful'
What is a house rule that you use in your home?
Great example!
What is an incentive that you're using with your teen?
Wow! You know them so well! So motivating!
What is an example of something that your teen could lose for poor behavior?
Less technology time
Early bedtime
No car for the next day
What are ways that you can be involved with your teen's school performance?
Ask if they need help
Keep in contact with school/teachers
Have a space/time set for educational time
What are some ways that we can increase the chance of your teen being cooperative?
Get their attention
Make sure they're not distracted
Be clear and specific
Follow through
How would you pre-teach your teen about expectation about going to a dance?
Be home by 11
Be where you're supposed to be
Be respectful of your date, and of the dance rules.=
Do you give an incentive BEFORE or AFTER your teen does what is asked?
After. Incentives are supposed to encourage and acknowledge the effort your teen has made.
What is an example of an extra chore you could give your teen for not following expectations?
Chopping wood
Cleaning cabinets
Matching lone socks
What would you pre-teach your teen if they had a significant other over for the first time?
Door open
No blankets
Common areas only
What is something encouraging you could say to your teen?
WOW! Such great encouraging :)
What is an example of a house rule you have around technology in your home?
Turn in cell phone/tablet/computer at bedtime
FP has access to all social media passwords
No cell phones at dinner table
Fill in the blanks:
____ you finish your homework, _______ you can get 30 extra minutes for Netflix tonight
WHEN you finish your homework, THEN you can get 30 extra minutes for Netflix tonight
What is one way that you can avoid climbing up the escalation curve?
Take a moment to breathe
Walk away/disengage
'hmmmm', 'huh'
How would you get to know your teen's friends?
Get to know their parents
Invite them over
How often should you expect your teen to mind?
a. 20%
b. 70%
c. 100%
b. 70%
Remember, we don't expect perfection!
How would you introduce a new house rule to your teen?
I want to make sure we are on the same page about some house rules. Let’s look at this list together.
The behavior we want to see, break down into steps
What is an example of an informal contract you could use with your teen to be responsible with their car?
When you return home at curfew, then you can have the car the next day
When you can return the car with a full tank of gas for two weeks, then you can get a new set of seat covers
How can you avoid taking the bait when your teen is arguing with you?
Stay focused on the topic at hand
Walk away or disengage
Change the subject
What is one way that you can supervise your teen on technology if you suspect inappropriate usage?
Use in common areas only
Parent will monitor search history
Turn in at end of day
What is the 5:1 ratio?
a. the number of eye rolls from a teen per hour
b. a baking ratio
c. the amount of positive statements to every one correction
c. the amount of positive statements to every one correction
We see more of what we give our attention to!
What is one advantage of pre-teaching?
Sets your teen up for success
Makes expectations clear
Practice
Sets you up to notice and reinforce your teens successes and efforts
What should you do if your teen complains about your rules or contracts?
Follow through anyways, and avoid taking the bait!
What is one way that we can make a plan around Super Tough or Covert Behaviors?
(ex. Sexualized behavior, stealing, lying)
Track and observe behavior
Find the pro-social opposite
Set up a reward or limit
STAY CALM
What is the difference between ATTITUDINAL and BEHVIORAL norms?
Attitudinal is what we THINK most individuals do
Behavioral is what those individuals ACTUALLY do