True/False
Calling your partner names or insulting them is abusive
True. This is abusive. Belittling someone can lower their self-worth and self-esteem, especially if you are belittling them to make them do what you want or because you know that it makes them feel bad about themselves.
Openly and respectfully discussing issues and disagreements non-judgmentally and respecting one another's opinions
Healthy Conflict
When someone says or does things to make you feel bad about yourself
Belittling
Hitting, slapping, shoving, grabbing, pinching, biting, hair pulling, etc.
Physical
Any physically, sexually, or psychologically violent behavior, including stalking, directed toward a current or former dating partner in adolescence
Dating Violence, Abusive Relationship, Domestic Violence
It is healthy for your partner to always need to know where you are or what you're doing if they are doing it because they want to keep you safe
False. No matter what the 'reason' is, needing to stalk your partner's every move is possessive and controlling and is unhealthy and abusive.
You have the space to be yourself outside of the relationship. You can go where you want and do what you want with or without your partner.
Independence
When someone repeatedly makes excuses for their unhealthy behavior
Deflecting responsibility
Name calling, threatening, intimidation, constantly criticizing, making someone feel crazy or worthless, extreme jealousy
Emotional/Mental/Verbal
The limits or rules we set for ourselves within relationships. Our values determine these.
Boundaries
Blaming all the issues in the relationship on your partner is abusive.
True. Gaslighting your partner into feeling that they are responsible for your problems is abusive, especially if you are doing this to make them do what you want.
Trust
When someone is jealous to the point that they try to control who you spend time with and what you do
Possessiveness
Coercing or forcing any sexual contact or behavior without consent
Sexual
When someone makes you feel crazy by blaming everything on you and/or making you question your thoughts and feelings
Gaslighting
It is healthy for your partner to wear what they want, hang out with who they want, and do what they want even if their partner doesn't like it
True. A healthy partner will never compromise the relationship no matter what they are wearing, who they are hanging out with or what they are doing. You and your partner have the right to make your own choices.
Owning your own actions and words
Taking Responsibility
When someone has really strong, unpredictable reactions that make you feel scared, confused or intimidated
Volatility
Controlling all of the money, not letting someone someone go to school or work, taking someone's money so they don't have any
Financial
The signs that someone is an unhealthy partner
Red Flags
The difference between unhealthy and abusive is control.
True. Abusive partners try to control their partner. Unhealthy partners are inconsiderate or selfish but don't try to control their partner's actions, thoughts, or life.
You can be truthful without fearing how the other will respond
Honesty
When someone tries to control your decisions, actions or emotions
Manipulation
Demanding to know your partner's passwords, harassing or threatening over the internet/phone, calling/texting your partner all of the time, stalking your partner through their phone location, Life360, SnapChat Map, etc.
Digital
The things that you are important to you, that you need to feel happy, safe, and healthy
Values
If someone is being unhealthy or abusive it is because they are choosing to act that way. If they wanted to change, they would.
True. Being unhealthy or abusive is a CHOICE. Just like being a healthy partner is a CHOICE.
You are caring and empathetic to one another, and provide comfort and support
Kindness
When someone keeps you away from friends, family, or other people
Isolation
Not letting someone practice their religion or pray, forcing someone to convert to another religion, using religion as the reason for why one person gets to make all of the decisions and the other person can't.
Spiritual
Forcing or pressuring a person into having sexual contact
Rape
Men cannot be victims of dating violence because they are physically stronger than women
False. Men can also be victims, regardless of physical strength. There are many other ways to be abusive, not just physically.
It is statistically likely that men will be the abusers, though, so it is up to all of you to choose to be a healthy partner.
The relationship feels balanced and everyone puts the same effort into the success of the relationship
Equality
When someone makes you feel responsible for their actions or makes you feel like its your job to keep them happy
Guilting
True/False: Doing or saying anything with the intent to control your partner is considered unhealthy and abusive, no matter what the reason is. For example, making them feel bad about themselves, telling them what to wear, who they can talk to, where they can go, what they can do.
True. You and your partner should be able to do what you want, when you want without fear of what the other will say or do. Equality, baby!
Why is it hard for someone to leave an abusive relationship
Fear, lack of resources, low self-esteem, unaware that the relationship is abusive