Easy
What is at the end of every rainbow?
W
Two coins add up to 30 cents. One isn’t a nickel. What are they?
A quarter and a nickel. The statement said only one of the coins wasn’t a nickel
A bus driver goes the wrong way down a one-way street. He passes the cops, but they don’t stop him. Why?
He was walking
Walk on the living, they don’t even mumble. Walk on the dead, they mutter and grumble. What are they?
Leaves
Did you hear that laughing too loudly is illegal in Hawaii?
They only permit a-low-ha.
What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
The Letter M
It stalks the countryside with ears that can’t hear. What is it?
Corn
What has a head but no brain?
Lettuce
What’s the coolest letter in the alphabet?
The letter B. It’s surrounded by AC.
Mom keeps asking why I have so much candy.
She doesn't know I always keep a few Twix up my sleeve.
What question can you never answer yes to?
Are you asleep?
A rooster lays an egg at the top of a slanted roof. Which side is the egg going to roll off?
A Rooster Doesn't lay eggs
A tree doubled in height each year until it reached its maximum height over the course of ten years. How many years did it take for the tree to reach half its maximum height?
Nine years.
Why is Europe like a frying pan?
Because it has Greece at the bottom
My dream job is to clean mirrors,
because I can really see myself doing that.
Where do you take a sick boat?
To the dock-tor.
Why do cats make good warriors?
Because they’ve got nine lives.
I have pointed fangs, and I sit and wait. I have piercing force, and I crunch with weight. I grab my victims, but they do not fight. I join them each with a single, quick bite. What am I?
A Stapler
What is 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat, and 2/4 goat?
Chicago
I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
I was like, 0mg.
Paul's height is six feet, he's an assistant at a butcher's shop, and wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
Meat
Forward, I am heavy; backward, I am not. What am I?
Ton
Ask this question all day long, but always get completely different answers, and yet all the answers will be correct. What is the question?
What time is it?
Four cars come to a four-way stop, each coming from a different direction. They can’t decide who got there first, so they all go forward at the same time. All four cars go, but none crash into each other. How is this possible?
They all made right-hand turns.
I lost 25% of my roof last night...
oof