Based on a True Cross-Collab
Edvard Munch and Wes Craven Ft. Neve Campbell, Skeet Ulrich, and The National Museum in Oslo.Edvard Munch and Wes Craven Ft. Neve Campbell, Skeet Ulrich, and The National Museum in Oslo.
The Scream
Despite most of the movie being in English, this Dutch-Danish 2022 flick featuring nonconsensual body modification was recently remade for an audience that apparently only watches English language movies in American accents (ignore the Scottish lead).
Speak No Evil
Sure, we’re covering morality, civility, leadership, and allegorically examining how a desire for democracy is directly in conflict with a desire for power, but can’t we START by giving Piggy back his glasses?
Lord of the Flies
This still-simmering abandoned neighborhood has all the incandescent charm of your most oppressive fever-dreams. Take in the sights, maybe find your missing daughter, and don’t forget to party with the local jittery murder nurses.
Silent Hill
John Landis produced this underappreciated and, since, hard-to-find 4th Clash record featuring such tracks as Lost in the Supermarket, The Guns of Brixton, and That Really Cool Moonlight Transformation Scene.
An American Werewolf in London Calling
Anthony Hopkins and William Blake Ft. Edward Norton, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and the Woman Clothed with the Sun.
Red Dragon
Moving to a new home in the countryside isn’t technically vacation, but it might feel that way for a while. At least until you turn into pigs gorging yourself at the enchanted amusement park and your kid runs afoul of Yubaba and No-Face.
Spirited Away
Brandy, Mekhi Phifer, Freddy Prinze Jr., Jennifer Love Hewitt. Member them? I member. Member the time they celebrated the one-year anniversary of their two friends’ brutal murders by going to the Bahamas? I… I forgot that detail. Anyways. Scream 2, this is not.
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
Plan your next pit stop at the luxurious Raccoon City Chamber of Commerce, be sure to remember your Umbrella, the forecast today, tomorrow, and the rest of the year is T-virus.
Resident Evil
Who among us hasn’t wanted to sneak away at night and attend a masquerade ball in the desert hosted by a family of cannibals? Most of us, probably, but this Wes Craven & Stanley Kubrick feature asks anyway. The password is “Pluto”.
Kanye West and Charlize Theron Ft. Rick Ross, Nicky Minaj, Bon Iver, and Christina Ricci.
Monster
Marathon party devotees may recall this delightful wintry entry focused on a soon-to-be mother-in-law “spending some time” with her fiancé’s two children who may or may not be deliberately tricking her into thinking she’s in purgatory. Nearer, my God, to thee indeed.
The Lodge
Sandwiched between Super Troopers (2001) and Beerfest (2006), American comedy troupe Broken Lizard set their parodic (if uneven) lens on vacation gone bad slasher tropes in this movie set in Coconut Pete’s Pleasure Island.
Club Dread
Nostromo? Nostrom-who? I kid, that’s a little joke we tell. There’s no such thing! That flight recorder? A figment of your imagination, little child. Enjoy your time aboard Sevastopol. We’ve got all the favored amenities: motion detector, welding torches, stun batons. What could possibly go wrong in space?
Alien Isolation
After over 130 years, this American golf championship is finally getting the makeover it’s always needed. On Sunday, instead of playing the 4th round, golfers missing the cut will be abandoned by their scuba guides in shark infested waters.
US Open Water
Philip Zimbardo and Kyle Patrick Alvarez Ft. Ezra Miller, Billy Crudup, and the journal American Psychologist.
The Stanford Prison Experiment
In granting a birthday wish, workaholic divorced dad agrees to take his daughter to see her mother. She’s in another city, though, so they’ll have to hop on public transport. All abord the KTX.
Train to Busan
Secret beaches at resorts don’t exist. And, if they do, isn’t that a red flag? Apparently not, in this 2021 M. Night adaptation of the graphic novel Sandcastle.
Old
Want to get away? Dealing with writer’s block? Running from the Taken? …looking for your Wife? Come on down to Bright Falls, Washington, where light truly is the best disinfectant.
Alan Wake
Boy meets Girl. Boy and Girl are scuba diving travel bloggers. Paris Hilton is late for a football game. Everybody dies.
The Deep House of Wax
Edward Hopper and Thomas Kinkade Ft. Woman on the Rocks, Max and Robert, and New England
Lighthouse
Among the pinnacle of feel bad horror, the kids in this flick won’t leave Mr. Fassbender and Ms. Reilly alone. Until they do. And then, to the surprise of nobody, the parents are just as bad.
Accidental matricide, these days, would likely result in some combination of unfathomable guilt coupled with intensive therapy. In 1984 under the direction of Buddy Cooper, though, you’re likely to find yourself stalked by your estranged father while partying in a beachfront fishing cabin.
The Mutilator
me to Brennenburg Castle, the year is 1839. Live as life once was, free from technological intrusion, creature comforts, and use-keys. Embrace, instead, the Shadow. Welcome to the Inner Sanctum.
Amnesia: The Dark Descent
Oren Peli, best known for Paranormal Activity, pulled a genre 180 and directed this follow-up featuring Zachary Gordon about a group of tourists who just want to be cool at Pripyat Middle School.
Chernobyl Diaries of a Wimpy Kid