Identify the/a subject.
Although she fears dirt, such intense emotion overcame Martha that she collapsed upon the dusty floor.
she intense emotion
Although Walfred drank poison, he survived and did not die.
(Redundant)
survived = did not die
She told the children to quickly decide.
Split infinitive:
She told the children to decide quickly.
Make this passage more fluid.
My son wants to go to the pool. He cannot go, because he is too busy. He has school tomorrow. He has to get a hair cut.
Change sentence structure to avoid starting with the same subject over and over again.
Stevenson argued [,]
Identify a main verb/simple predicate:
Although she fears dirt, such intense emotion overcame Martha that she collapsed upon the dusty floor.
Fears overcame collapsed
Fear is growing within them because of the chilling, scary groans.
Simplify wordy sentences:
Fear grew within them
Redundancy:
chilling groans
Wanting to prove them wrong, the sign had a biting slogan.
Dangling Modifier (Who is doing this action?)
Wanting to prove them wrong, the protesters came up with a biting slogan for the sign.
A complex sentence.
Her long scraggly hair got tangled in the brush.
long [,]
Identify a direct object
Although she fears dirt, such intense emotion overcame Martha that she collapsed upon the dusty floor.
dirt Martha
Twisting, she spun around and scowled at him; in her hand she was holding a spatula.
She spun around and scowled at him. She was holding a spatula.
Misplaced limiting modifier.
At Holy Cross, NOT all students were English majors, which is a shame.
What is a paratactical sentence?
A simple sentence.
While in the United States we often associate nationalistic thinking with white supremacist groups such thinking is actually common around the world regardless of race.
While in the United States we often associate nationalistic thinking with white supremacist groups[,] such thinking is actually common around the world [,] regardless of race.
Identify a prepositional phrase:
Although she fears dirt, such intense emotion overcame Martha that she collapsed upon the dusty floor.
upon the dusty floor
Redundant; unnecessarily wordy.
The pale light shone down the hall.The candidate believes in sending children to schools that are three years old.
Misplaced phrases and clauses.
The candidate believes in sending three-year-old children to school.
Improve this passage:
In her poem "Alternative Facts," the poet imagines what would have happened if, instead of just getting out and shooting the victim, the officer had, instead, sat in his car remembering his own childhood; surely then, the child would still be alive today.
In her poem "Alternative Facts," the poet imagines what would have happened if the officer did not just get out and shoot the victim. Suppose instead, he sat in his car remembering his own childhood. The child would still be alive today.
Mildred hated doing the dishes, they made her feel like Cinderella.
Mildred hated doing the dishes[;] they made her feel like Cinderella.
Subordinating Conjuction
Although she fears dirt, such intense emotion overcame Martha that she collapsed upon the dusty floor.
Although
At this point in time, the athlete was benched by the coach.
The coach benched the athlete.
After her driver's test, her license renewed the mail.
Dangling Modifier:
After her driver's test, the State sent her renewed license in the mail.
Use sentence variety AND balance of parallel structures to improve this sentence.
On the very same day that Amanda went to the hospital to give birth, Chinjie was going to the hospital; his wife was also in labor, so now the cousins are birthday twins.
On the very same day that Amanda went to the hospital to give birth, Chinjie and his wife also went. Now the cousins are birthday twins.
For my camping trip, I packed a tent that smells faintly of raccoons, snacks, including beef jerky, marshmallows, and something labeled only “mystery trail mix”, and my friend Dave; who brought nothing but a harmonica and loud opinions about sandwiches.
For my camping trip, I packed 1) a tent that smells faintly of raccoons[;] 2) snacks, including beef jerky, marshmallows, and something labeled only “mystery trail mix”[;] and 3) my friend Dave[,] who brought nothing but a harmonica and loud opinions about sandwiches.