All About Me
The age I'll be turning next year, at which, according to Blink-182, "nobody likes you"
23
Originally titled "One Horse Open Sleigh," the classic song "Jingle Bells" was originally written for this holiday
Thanksgiving
Spongebob thought of something funnier than 24
25
The face of the $20 bill forcibly displaced roughly 60,000 Native Americans in this ethnic cleansing
Trail of Tears
She embodies sadness in Inside Out
Phyllis Vance / Phyllis Smith
This eye of mine has twice as strong of a prescription as the other one
Left
The modern image of a jolly, plump Santa Claus was born in 1931 from ads from this major American company
Coca-Cola
The Monster Energy logo allegedly represents this sign of the devil
666
This CIA-backed invasion failed to overthrow Fidel Castro's government of Cuba, instead strengthening his rule
Bay of Pigs
Jinkies! Her role as Velma has an audience score of only 10% on Rotten Tomatoes
Kelly Kapoor / Mindy Kaling
My alma mater UCSD does not have a football team, but it is D1 in this sport
Baseball
With over 733 different copyrighted versions, this is the most recorded Christmas song of all time
"Silent Night"
A beloved day for stoners and Nazis alike
420
This 1896 Supreme Court decision upholding a mandate of segregation in all public facilities was not overturned until 1954
Plessy v. Ferguson
Author of the children's book The Book with No Pictures
Ryan Howard / B.J. Novak
Of all the 15 tree pollens I was tested for, I was only not allergic to this one
Ash/Privet
A copywriter at the Montgomery Ward department store created this radiant character in 1939 to draw in more customers
Rudolph
In this meme originating from an episode of Dragon Ball Z, Vegeta yells that Goku's power level is over this number
9000
This 20-year program contained a series of illegal human experimentations carried out by the CIA in hopes of discovering means of altering human behaviors
MKUltra
How bad could he possibly be as The Onceler in The Lorax?
Andy Bernard / Ed Helms
Multiply the hours by 9 and you'll get the minutes for the exact time I was born
2:18
Before switching to being plastic-made in the 1970s, this holiday decoration was banned by the US government for containing lead
Tinsel
It's got the kids these days -- and the South Park writers -- in a chokehold
67
Signed into law by President Coolidge in 1924, this established the harshest immigration restrictions in US history, including completely banning Asians from naturalization and limiting "less white" European migrants
Johnson-Reed Act
He made a cameo on Adult Swim's Smiling Friends as the disappointed father of fan-favorite Mr. Frog
Creed Bratton